My friend, Kate, has a dream. Strike that. She was absolutely, positively born to do the thing she’s dreaming of. I’m sure of it – not just because it’s her dream, but also because her idea will better the world. It’s one of those things where you say, “That hasn’t been done yet? Why hasn’t that been done yet?! Are you still here talking to me? Get up and go do that!”
This week, Kate and I had dinner and when I asked her for an update, she said, “Well, not much has changed since we last talked about it”.
“Come on”, I said. “It’s been two months. I know you’ve got stuff to tell me.”
“No, really. I’m basically at the same point.” She relayed the few small steps she’d taken, and I’ll admit that when she was done, I was disappointed. Not at her, of course, but for her.
It didn’t add up. It didn’t make sense. Why was she standing still with something wonderful waiting to be revealed? Kate is uncommonly gifted. She’s smarter than most of us. She’s great with people. Super focused. Super capable. But it turns out, she’s also super scared. And as we talked, I could sense her own disappointment and frustration. She admitted she’s been dragging her feet, but couldn’t say why. And then, almost by accident, she stumbled into some words that have stuck with me all week long.
“Chance, I know what I bring to the table. I’m confident in my skill set. I’m sure I’ve got a great idea, and I know I’m the person to do it. But every time I try to step forward, something in me hesitates, and I have to step back. I’m confident… but I’m not courageous.”
Immediately, I knew she’d said something important, and I’m still chewing on her words days later. When you peel back the layers underneath the surface, you realize that we all struggle through those feelings. Either that, or we give up too soon and settle for a lesser life.
Confidence is important, but it can only carry you to comfortable and familiar places. Study for the test – prepare for the interview, and you’ll grow confident in your ability. Hone your craft – climb the ladder, and you’ll grow confident in your reputation.
But to choose the road less traveled, unsure of what’s ahead –
To relinquish the safety of what’s familiar –
To pursue what’s unproven –
To resist conformity and mediocrity –
To leap beyond your comfort zone –
All for the hope that something better waits for you and the world around you…
These things take courage.
We can’t wish, plan or dream our way to courage. We can’t hope our way to courage. And unlike confidence, we can’t muster it up on our own. It comes from a deeper place, an inner knowing, the whisper in our heart calling, “Come. This way. This is what you were made for.” Without that assurance, we can only operate out of a self-made and wavering confidence. But with it, courage promises to change our lives, the world around us, and potentially generations to come.
Courage is messy. It doesn’t wait for everything to feel right. It steps out without knowing all the details. It moves before it has all the answers, before it can predict the future. It isn’t shaped by what others might think. Courage has got stuff to do. It moves boldly, unapologetically and now!
Most of us make our choices based on comfort.
We hesitate to move until things “feel right”.
I just need to get through this hectic season.
I’m working on my plan.
I need to save a little more money.
Just a little more research, and I’ll be ready.
We spend our lives waiting for a day that never comes.
Somewhere along the road, we’ve lulled ourselves into thinking that if we’re good people and do good work, we can take life as it comes and everything will work out just as it’s meant to. To me, this is a grave mistake.
There’s so much more to life than most of us are living.
But it’s not enough to have a dream – or even a plan.
It’s not enough to master our craft,
Or to be a good person.
It’s not even enough to be confident you can do it.
If we’re going to become who we were meant to be,
If we’re to do what we were meant to do,
We’ve got to put complacency and apathy on notice,
We’ve got to live boldly and with great courage.
My friends, it’s hard to interrupt old patterns and create something new. I know. I feel the ache, too. But consider this question that Kate and I are asking ourselves this week.
What if you are one bold and courageous move away from changing your life and the world around you?
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Hey Chance! Your prior post “Be Unreasonable” along with this one certainly resonates with me. My newest favorite words that are becoming concepts in my life are Boldness, Courageous and Unreasonable. To answer your question, “What if you are one bold courageous move away from changing your life and the world around you?” My answer lies within part of my Personal Mission Statement I wrote several months ago: “One dream or idea from God can forever change the course of my life and the lives of others.” Your post is another reminder to me it’s courage that puts action behind my dreams and ideas. Thanks!
Chance,
I am shaking in my boots out here. You ARE a whisper prodding me on. Moving beyond the comfort zone takes teamwork. Knowing that there are balcony people cheering and praying and speaking words of life bring into reality things that could not otherwise be. Improbable things, even seemingly impossible. There are risks in every courageous step taken. Weighing those risks against the regret in having not taken the steps helps me to gather what I need to pick up my foot and plant it firmly ahead. Knowing there are those dear ones in your corner, ready to brush you off and help you back onto the horse’s back gives grace to fail, all the while moving forward. Yes. It is exhausting. But looking back from the distance traveled, I wouldn’t trade this view for the world. Keep writing.
I have to agree/disagree with you on your statement that courage comes from knowing that you were meant for more.
This sentiment is played out over and over again and I think it misses a fundamental truth. In order to overcome fear, you have to take your eyes off of yourself. Thinking about how you were meant for more or you were made for greatness is both self-focused and possibly delusional. (You may hear the word greatness and mistake it for meaning you were meant for fame or success when you may, in fact, never attain either…and still achieve greatness.)
Courage comes from a heart that knows the mission must be accomplished, even if it means your death or ruin. i.e., focus on the value of the bigger story, not what it means for your life. A person who knows the mission must be accomplished walks into fear with courage. Not because they are moving into their “bigger life” but because they know the worthiness of the mission demands it.
Of course, where I agree with you is that there are those that do find courage to face fear for personal gain. My point is that most people won’t find courage enough to step into that unknown and face failure, humiliation and possible ridicule for something as vague as being meant for more.
Find a concrete vision of what should and must be and courage will take care of itself.
I don’t disagree with much you’ve written here. In fact, I completely agree with your personal take. I just believe you’ve misinterpreted some of what I offered. I never implied here that courage will never lead into possible demise. And I never said courage leads to greatness. In both cases, you’re putting words in my mouth that you won’t find in what I wrote. I never used the words “bigger life” as you quoted.
You may be referencing… “for the hope that something better waits for you and the world around you”… Those words can be twisted to reference prosperity, but that’s not what I meant or what I wrote. “better” is in the eye of the beholder, and, for me, BEST is knowing that you’re contributing to the greater good, even if it’s to your own detriment.
You wrote, “My point is that most people won’t find courage enough to step into that unknown and face failure, humiliation and possible ridicule for something as vague as being meant for more.”
Again – the “vague meant for more” you take issue with here are not my words. I get your point, but I do believe that people will find ANY AMOUNT OF COURAGE NEEDED to step into the unknown and face failure, etc (as you’ve written) – when they see the mission and know their role to play, no matter if it’s for their personal benefit or not.
I don’t believe that courage is always selfless and big picture, though I absolutely believe that it will be at times. History is full of examples… I believe I understand your point, and if I’d written or meant a lot of what you’ve written here, I’d agree with you. Unfortunately, you’re reading things that aren’t there, and making some assumptions that aren’t true.
All that said, I appreciate your perspective and agree with almost all of your viewpoint.
Thanks for the reply, Chance. Just want to say this wasn’t an assault on your post. Only a different perspective. I made my point only to offer more clarity around the issue.
I’ve seen so many people read things like this and what they get from it is exactly what I said I disagree with. So yes, I likely read some things into your post but so will others reading it. This was my attempt at offering a different perspective.
I am truly sorry if you felt attacked in any way. Definitely not my point. If I wanted to attack you I wouldn’t subscribe to your posts! :)
I didn’t feel attacked. I appreciate everyone’s perspective when it’s offered kindly, and I sensed very little edge from you. I thought you were respectful, and again, I agree with so much of what you wrote.
It’s true that some can misread my words. We all see things through our very unique filters… I’m learning (though it’s a tough lesson for me) that with such a diverse group of readers, I run the risk of being misinterpreted, no matter how carefully I choose my words.
I do try very hard to consider the reader. It’s tough to try to inspire people to live a better, even greater, lives when that territory has been so abused and twisted. I often feel like I’m swimming upstream, so it’s important to me that I be held to my actual words, and not how they can be perceived through someone else’s filter.
THANK YOU for the exchange! :) It’s healthy and good to consider other sides of an issue.
Well Chance…I kinda waited to read this one because it had the word….”Courage” in the title! :-) I am at a crossroads in my life and have a LOT of decisions to make…and I have made SOME decisions…I will be moving back to Miami, to be near my daughter there….I believe I can be a great help to them as they are in the busiest time of their lives down there and Kaylee, 12, and Ashlee, 10 need a Grandma, as they have only had long=distance ones all their lives! But where the Courageous comes in is the things I need to do to make this happen…ridding myself of 53 years of accumalated “treasures” that Jack and I filled this house to the rooftops with and trying not to be overly sentimental where it won’t fit into my childrens’ lives (they have their “accumalated stuff”) or into my life in a small apartment….so…it must be given away, sold or thrown away. I AM getting better, but there is SO much and some days I just close the door and say I am NOT dealing with this today! So….I have the confidence I can do this…but the Courage part is hard!! I thank you, once again for shaking my world! I love you Chance!
This is exactly where I am right now, and exactly what I needed to hear. I’ve always thought I was confident person, and I believe I’m on the path to what God wants me to be doing, but I’ve been stuck the last few years. A huge (perceived) failure on this journey has left me paralyzed in every way. Trying to learn from it and move forward, but the fear is still there. I have taken the time to learn a great deal about my chosen profession (singing and teaching voice health), but now it’s action time and I’m scared to move and be wrong again.
Anyway, thank you for this post. I will look back to it often.
As I sit here thinking of what to write – because I want to write something. All I can think about is that I want / need more people like you in my life.
I’ve been feeling stuck / I need to just jump, take a leap of faith and step out – and I’m hesitant. UGH. Why still after reading this – do I think “Gotta do this and this, and plan that, and then do it.”
What I need to do is PRAY, pray, pray some more! And PRAY AGAIN!
Appreciate your words. And I look forward to reading more. My first time catching your blog.
Wow! I really needed to hear this. I am in the final stages of planning a teen girl’s conference for the girls in our community. I am not comfortable speaking in front of people or even going up in front of people. I know now, that I am doing exactly what God wants me to do and look toward to the lives (even if it’s only one) that Gods word through me can touch and change. Thank you!
This post totally blew me out of the water. I need to think about it. Awesome stuff here for a depressed chicken trying to get back into life. Thank you!!
Alexis! You made my day. This is exactly why I write this blog! Thank you for reading and for taking the time to let me know it helped you.
Get back out there – it’s where you belong! I think we fight sadness when we’re still… and then we stand still because we’re sad. It’s so cyclical. One thing I’m sure of – you were made for more! Go find it, my new friend.
Love this. Just what I needed to hear this week. I’m stepping out with courage this weekend! :) And to replace some of this with the words “God’s calling” and “Holy Spirit”….ya know….I can see that all of that in this blog! Great word Sir Chancelot.
Yes, ma’am. That’s exactly what I hope you see. Those are buzz words to some who read this blog, but if they hear a whisper themselves, perhaps they’ll wonder where it comes from.
Would love to know how you’re stepping out! Proud of you, Debi!
Words very much worth sharing … and I have!
Thanks, Terry… for reading AND for sharing. It helps so much.
Chance, this is so good, and it’s more than a bit painful as well. As I’ve read this and pondered your words this morning, I think I like the idea of being courageous a lot more than I like living it out. Way more than I want to admit, I want to know the outcomes before I step out and take chances. Thanks for reminding me that courage requires action, not just belief. Thank you.
Should’ve probably sent you a warning to not read this one. We’re stepping out together, my friend. You and me.
That’s a good word, Chance! “Courage is messy. It doesn’t wait for everything to feel right.”
Convicting!
Thanks, my friend. Saw your tweet, too. Much appreciated, EJ. I gotta say… I see you two getting messy, and it looks good on you. It’s inspiring to watch. Great days ahead for the Gaines family.
So where I’m at right now, Chance. Stepping into things that are way over my head, too big for me, and my tendency is to pause. To stall. To wait until I’ve got it figured out.
But I’ve always told my kids: “It’s not courage if you’re not scared.”
Time to take my own advice.
Appreciate you my friend!
You’re doing it, bro. I’m watching you do it right in front of my eyes. I appreciate you too, my friend.