Shortly after we found out Jennifer was pregnant with our first daughter, a career opportunity I’d long hoped for presented itself. Problem is, it didn’t present itself to me. I was being overlooked by the decision-makers while people who I thought were less qualified than me were being considered. At the time, I took it as a personal slight. I’d put in the hours. I’d paid my dues and done quality work. Why hadn’t I been approached? With a baby on the way, I needed a raise now more than ever. And if I wasn’t being considered for this opportunity, what did that mean for even bigger ones in the future? Had the world around me decided this was as far as I could travel up the ladder? Underneath it all, desperation and fear were dancing a slow dance in my mind. I felt sure my hopes and plans for my family’s future were being permanently derailed at the hand of someone else. And I didn’t like it.
One Sunday afternoon, my Dad and I were talking in the kitchen as he made us both a sandwich. I was complaining and pointing fingers until he interrupted me.
“So you’ve made up your mind then. This is as far as you’ll go.”
“What do you mean? That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Are you sure?”
“Why would you even ask me that?”
He was quiet for a moment, looking around the room until he saw a bowl of fruit on the counter. He walked over to it, picked up an apple and sat down at the table across from me. Then he casually placed it in front of me.
“Pick up the apple. It’s yours.” By this point in my life, I’d learned not to question my Dad in moments like these. I reached down and picked it up.
“Good.” He reached out, I gave it to him and he put it back on the table – this time barely beyond my normal reach.
“Pick up the apple. It’s yours.” I wondered where he was going with this, but l leaned forward in my chair, stretching out my arm and hand, reaching for the apple. Once I had it, I began to understand. I looked him in the eyes and he smiled a little, taking it back from me. This time, he put it in front of himself, on the opposite side of the table from me.
“How bad do you want it?”
I stood up from my chair and leaned across what now seemed like a giant table. Balancing myself with my left hand, I stretched with my right. I could feel it in my whole body, from the tips of my toes, up through my calves, my back, arms and fingers.
Though I’d picked that apple up twice before, this time it was different. This time it wasn’t handed to me, ready to take and enjoy. I had to work for it. I had to reach further than I’d reached before – further than was comfortable for me.
“Chance, everybody wants great things out of life. But all anyone ever gets is what they’re willing to reach for.”
Dang.
“Son”, he said. “No one else gets to tell you what you can be, have or do. You can have almost anything you could ever want. You just have to decide how far you’re willing to stretch to get it.”
With that, he went back to making our sandwiches. Lesson over.
And lesson learned.
In the years since, that day and that apple have come to mean more and more to me. Of course I’ve met with obstacles and resistance. I’ve been overlooked plenty of times and even deliberately left out. At another time, I might have complained or recoiled. But it’s not the same to me anymore. I’m grateful for what comes easily to me. But when it’s not enough, I see it as an invitation to stretch. And time has taught me that the stuff that’s barely beyond my reach is always better.
I want to love my wife beyond what’s easy and convenient.
And find new depths of wisdom for my childrens’ sake.
I want to be a deep well of compassion for my friends,
And a source of help and leadership for the world around me.
I want to go beyond what others might have thought possible for me.
And far beyond what I once thought possible for myself.
If there’s more for me, if there’s more to me, I want it.
And I’m willing to stretch for it.
What if there’s greater love…and happiness…fulfillment…and purpose…waiting for you just barely out of reach?
You can have almost anything you could ever want out of life. You just have to decide how far you’re willing to stretch to get it.
This Post Has 25 Comments
Comments are closed.
Usually, I don’t comment on things like this. A friend posted this on facebook and I could have easily missed her posting, but I happened to see it and felt led to read it. Just want to thank you for writing this. Today, I especially needed to read this. Seriously. Thank you for the encouragement.
I love your posts about your father’s lessons, Chance. I love it that you found such a great way to honor him by passing those lessons on to other people. This particular one reminds us that nothing good is ever easy. I know lots of people who set limits for themselves (to be honest I kind of fall into that category too). And when they find themselves wanting something beyond those limits, they tell themselves they just can’t do it because they’re not smart enough, not experienced enough and so no. I shared this post with people I know. Hope they’ll read it.
Thanks, Anna-Emily. :) I love to write about my Mom and Dad. So much wisdom there. Love to share it with anyone who will listen.
I think we all struggle with what you described at times. As long as we’re fighting it, we’re on a good road.
Pure brilliance!
Why, thank you. :)
Beautiful, simple and profound. What a father! What a son. Thank you.
Thanks, my friend. It’s so nice to have you joining in here. It’s been far too long. So glad to be reconnected.
How many of us don’t reach because we have been taught not to, not taught to, discouraged to, or have just given up? I have met so many people in these places and it saddens me. I try and take the opportunity to encourage them to not settle. I thank God every day that I had supportive parents that taught me to reach in life.
Really great post Chance–very inspiring! It seems simple enough but it definitely makes a difference between what we experience and what we just hope and dream about. Far too often we sit back and complain or just commiserate and then wonder why we missed out. As Henry David Thoreau said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.” Thanks again for inspiring me today. ~Kathy
Thanks so much, Kathy. HDT is one of my favorite people to read and quote. Love your comments and love your site. Everybody go check it out! :)
I’m gonna go buy an apple for my office. ;)
LOVE that, Craig. Thanks to you, I am too. :)
Once again, Chance, you have touched me to the core with your words. Thank you! I’m in that very season of reaching for what currently seems beyond my reach and boy am I doing some stretching:) I hope the pain I’m feeling from the stretch will pay off in the long run. I’m praying and believing it will. I too, want to “go beyond what others might have thought possible for me” – in all areas of my life. Again, thanks. May you continue to be blessed with wisdom.
Thank you for such kind encouragement, Amma…We know that stretching to become something more is always worth it, but my hope for you is that you can tangibly see the benefits of the pain you’ve endured. And soon.
Thanks Chance. I am working on getting there.
Thanks, Chance. I reeeeeeeeeeally needed that today. I’m currently attempting things that are far beyond what I’ve ever reached for before. And sometimes it can be discouraging. Thanks for thta perspective that took the discouragement right out of it. (and thanks, dad!)
:) So glad it helped. Thank YOU, Kim…for taking the time to read AND to comment.
Hey, Chance!
WHEW! What a great follower to Matt. 16 to begin our day!!!
Thanks so much for sharing SUCH WISDOM as your father shared before you! And which you have then built upon in the most inspiration ways herein!!
We value and appreciate immensely the way you ‘spend’ our time when we tune in. What we take away is ALWAYS EXCEPTIONAL and LIFE CHANGING!
Have an absolutely awesome day, Chance, you and the precious three ladies of your life!!!
Thank you, Shelley! You are beyond encouraging. I’m so glad to have met you here. You make it more fun.
Chance~ I look forward to reading your posts more and more with each one. A simple truth that so many miss. Reaching just past our comfort zone or toward what we think we are not possible of, usually turns into a miracle for somebody. Us often, but others too! Thank your Dad for me for teaching you this lesson and thank you for sharing! Peace~
LOVE that thought, Shanna. Thanks for adding your perspective!
Wow,
What an amazing story. This is short and simple but I really love the power behind it. This could totally be made into an eBook as something you give away for free on your blog. I also love this because it shows the importance of fathers and the role they play in our lives. Great post!
BT
Thanks, Brandon. My dad taught me some amazing lessons through simple means like this. Taught me as much by his methods as by the lesson itself.
Thanks for taking the time to read AND for the comment. :)
First of all, thank you so much, for your amazing blog, and for this post! It’s just EXACTLY what I needed to get as a message, today. Exactly that. Quite amazing how some really tuff times turn out to become life’s best mentors…Especially when the universe is being very supporting by just dropping some little diamond in one’s inbox to bring some light and clarity :-)
Have a beautiful day
What a very kind post, Catherine! Thank YOU for reading. I’m glad this one resonated with you. And yes, the hard days usually turn out to be the best teachers…even though I hate admitting that. ;)
btw, I can tell you’re a writer or communicator just through this comment. :) Beautiful choice of words.