![Fork In The Road1[4]](https://www.chancescoggins.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/fork-in-the-road14.jpg)
For fifteen years, a friend of mine has worked for the same company. She had a parking space and an office. She frequented the same places for lunch, and went with the same friends. She honed her skills and contributed something unique that she alone could give. She made a home. She found her place. She belonged.
Last week, her position was eliminated, and she was let go.
I can only imagine what her final hours there were like – the last goodbyes, the elevator ride down, the walk to the car, the long drive home. And I suspect her mind has been flooded with questions like:
What do I do now?
Am I washed up – is it over for me?
I gave this the best years of my life – how am I supposed to start over again?
Where would I even begin?
How can I make it all on my own?
These are familiar questions to any of us who’ve felt the sting of great loss – be it our job, a relationship, or the passing of a loved one. We’ve all limped through days when some outside force swept into our lives like a storm, and messed up the good thing we had going.
We’ve all had Plan B thrust upon us.
Change is rarely easy, even when it’s for something we desire. Embracing the unknown road is uncomfortable and it costs us plenty – beginning with whatever security we’ve conjured up in our heads. Thing is, you get nowhere without it. Imagine having lived your life with no dramatic changes – no big moves. What if you’d settled in years ago, and that was that? You’d just be living the same old day and the same old year after year… THAT’S when you know you’re done. THAT’S when you know you’re finished.
Change is meant to be a catalyst for our good, even when it hurts.
It does hurt sometimes, and when it does, take the time to feel the pain of your loss. But also know this.
The sooner you can stop fighting it,
The quicker you can embrace it,
The sooner you can muster the words, “Thank you”, and see change as an opportunity instead of an injury, the sooner you’ll discover the next chapter of your story.
Sometimes something must die, something beautiful must be removed, something that defines us must be cleared from our lives to make space for a beautiful new thing.
Our new and better home.
Our new place to belong.
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The rippling effects of your writings continue…Tal shared with our Friends in Faith Monday Night Bible Study Group – actually read this to them (10 folks met at our home last night to study about the Apostle Paul). At a minimum, there were three trembling lips and tears in the eyes…all asked for a print out of this special message. All were moved and ALL asked to receive your blogs. Wow, you are an amazing instrument of God’s teaching. Blessings to you Dear Friend!
CHANCE! autumn here.
you made my day twice today… once seeing you in merridee’s and again after reading this :)
kudos! keep em coming!
You have very important points in this post. Changes are hard but sometimes you feel so good after the decision is made and you realise you’re really moving on. What is more, you don’t see all the benefits of a change right away but later it’s always clear the change was an extremely important step on your way to where you are now. So let’s welcome changes!
YES! I love this comment. It sounds so basic, but it’s really a lifelong lesson. To embrace change is to embrace progress.
My husband, Tal, printed this post and took it with him to visit his mother at the assisted living home, where she now resides. There, gathered with 3 of her new best friends, he read this post out loud to the four of them. Some totally understood, some oblivious to the content and its meaning, but ALL loved to listen to what you wrote, Chance. On most visits,it’s common to hear a resident question “WHY’ they are there and talk of their struggles with becoming a new resident…Even the 90+ need to hear about how change can be a catalyst for our good! Many, many thanks for allowing the Spirit to move you to put pen to paper! Bless you, Chance!
This might be the most humbling and gratifying message I’ve received. Wow. I’m so grateful to be a small part of the encouragement he brought that day. Please thank him for me, and thank YOU for taking the time to let me know.
Just wanted to add that prior to surrender to ministry, my husband was displaced from jobs twice – once with company filing bankruptcy. After that job ended, he started a new job on Monday following the Friday of his company’s closing. Then five years later, his new job closed all their locations in the north Alabama area. The longest he went without a job was 3 months, but pay was reduced drastically. God has always provided for our needs through each storm, but boy were there some tough lessons learned!
Wow. I’d love to sit down and hear that story… Sounds like you’ve got an uncommon story to tell. What an adventure!
Wow. When change comes our first response is to resist, thanks for the encouragement to press through and embrace.
Thank YOU for reading, and for commenting!
I can relate to this post. I grieved 3 long, painful years over a redirection in our lives. It was almost crushing. Truth be told, I still grieve time to time….even this past week had me revisiting the loss. What if?…. I’m coming to realize that maybe plan Bs are just another development of plan A. If God is in control, it has to be, in my grasp of theology. I do see the things I would have missed without change and risk. The blessings of the grief is that do start asking questions that we never would have asked.
I’m coming to realize that maybe plan Bs are just another development of plan A.
YES, YES, YES! I found myself mulling over the same thought as I wrote this post – but I love the way you said it! Perfect.
Chance…that was really helpful to me this morning when I sat down and ready your blog. I’ve been let go after 27 years in a job that I loved with all my heart…. But your blog helped me to turn a corner and think positive in a way that even all the scriptures couldn’t do. Now it seems to have fallen in place.
I wasn’t walked to the door….they gave me a year, but the connection after being in one spot for so long has a lot of good points….but I guess its time to move on and I look forward to what he (The Lord) is going to do.
It’s a new day….thanks for writing.
Dee
27 years – wow. In this day and age, I’m not sure I can name anyone who has accomplished that milestone. Of course there would be grief there. You’ve suffered a loss…. I’m grateful that this encouraged you. It’s true, Deanna. It IS a new day, and there’s as much purpose for you today as there EVER has been. It might not look the same, but it’s as true as true gets.
…”But your blog helped me to turn a corner and think positive in a way that even all the scriptures couldn’t do.”
Wow – THANK YOU for letting me know. I’m so grateful to have helped.
These have been great posts, Chance. My husband and I are just in the beginning of a new adventure. He surrendered to ministry, finally, a year or so ago after feeling the call for many years. We don’t exactly know what form the ministry call will take, but we will be ready! We still have our jobs, but he is now attending school to complete his bachelor’s degree and praying for the opportunities to unfold and it is exciting and a bit scary as we are not spring chickens! But what fun to pursue what God has laid on his heart and I’m on the team completely with him. Whether it be missions or some other ministry, we anticipate the future with great excitement! Thanks for these posts that really speak to the changes coming our way!
I am one of those who worked for a company for 16 years and had my job eliminated. I also just ended a bad marriage two and was the primary provider, jobless with sole responsibility of raising four children. There was so much going on at that time, the impact of losing a job I had given so much of my self to, struck me later. There are many lessons learned and the loads we carry can impact how long we stay down in the dirt… I believe the process of moving through these time of setbacks are not nearly as trying as heart break. Losing someone what as very important to you… your rock and warm… your peace…. well, I still working on that loss. I know time heals or we get on with tasks of getting through the day, but the hardest part has been reigniting life back to your soul…. where you are living with vitality and not merely pushing to exist. Breathing life back into yourself is a process…
I believe the process of moving through these time of setbacks are not nearly as trying as heart break… Breathing life back into yourself is a process…
Profound and beautiful, even though it hurts to read your words.
Thank you for sharing your needed perspective…
All in its time.
Great lesson to learn young. But young or old, this is the truth. Thanks Chance.
Thank you, Diana. Learning it daily.
Thanks Chance….good word for me right now. Love you….miss you.
:)
Again, I really love this post. It’s so true, and I can certainly see my journey as evidence that there is life after loss. Now that I think about it, it doesn’t even really feel like loss any more. I hope your friend finds her new place quickly and that it’s better than she could have imagined!
Now that I think about it, it doesn’t even really feel like loss any more.
My heart leapt when I read that sentence.
Beautiful and so true. Thank you!
Thanks for reading, and for commenting!