Can I be honest with you? The very last thing I want to do right now is write an inspirational post. I’m tired. I’ve been a little cranky and sad all day for no good reason. I’m behind on some work. My kids just asked me to take a walk with them and I said no…to come face this blank page I’m meant to fill with encouraging words I just don’t have today.
I could lie to you.
I could put on a happy face and borrow from inspiration I’ve felt at another time. I could pull out a book I love and repeat some version of what someone else has said. I could paint you a rainbow and hide the part of me I don’t want to give voice to. I could suppress what I’m feeling and protect what you think of me.
Or I could be a real person.
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I sure wish I could see the cracks in the people around me – especially those who are out in front, claiming to have the answers we need. Sometimes I think the best thing they could do is admit that taking their own advice isn’t always easy. How refreshing it would be to see a break in their relentless smiles for a moment. I think it would help me more to know that they struggle sometimes than to hear their “3 Steps For Getting Over Your Hurdle”.
So here I am – facing my own hurdle. I know the right things to think and say. I know what I’m supposed to do. I understand what’s good for me. But the truth is, right now, I just don’t want to do it. In fact, as long as we’re being honest, I might as well admit that I ate two cupcakes for lunch today. Boldly. I didn’t even pretend I was buying one for someone else.
Now, I’m not one to embrace a funk for long. I’ll get past this quickly – probably even by the time I post this. And because I know that, I was really tempted to lie to you and to hide from you. But if I share the best of me with you, if I ask you to rally around my words, if I call you to boldness and authenticity, then it feels right to be bold and authentic in return…even when I don’t want to be.
So what’s the lesson here? Well…maybe there doesn’t need to be one. Maybe it’s enough just to drop the facade with one another, to admit that we don’t always wanna practice what we preach. But I started this post privately asking myself, “How do I do this when nothing in me wants to?”. And I think that maybe I’ve stumbled onto 3 steps, whether I wanted to or not.
What do you do when you can’t find your “want to”?
Step 1 – Be a real person. Put away your rainbow and admit your weakness.
Step 2 – Allow yourself the freedom to gripe for a moment. You don’t have to turn in your optimist card, and you just might do some good in the process.
Step 3 – That thing you want to punt? Go do it anyway.
Life is harder sometimes than we let on. It gets especially tough if you’re daring to do something big and bold. Sometimes, the pressure to perform perfectly will shut you down. When it does, refer to steps 1-3 above. And when you’re done, go take a walk with your kids or someone you love…and find your smile again.
What do YOU do when you can’t find your “want to”? I’d love to know what works for you.
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Ps: There’s a great Garfield cartoon that sums this up perfectly. He’s in pj’s & says: “So much to do, so little desire to do it.” Honestly, I feel like that a lot! LOL
Chance, thanks for your transparency. As you can see from my Monday blog post, (http://www.fim-carol.blogspot.com/2013/04/female-in-motion-health-update.html) we both had a rough Monday. As inspirational bloggers, I feel we have a responsibility to show all our sides, including the frail human side. God bless!
Wow. (I think that after EACH of your posts! ) So glad I found you! Hmm, what do I do when I can’t find my want to? Can I be honest? Oh, wait, that’s the point of this post! Okay then, here goes. Deep breath. When I can’t find my want to I often, well, don’t! I lay on the couch & watch my DVR cop shows. Eventually I guilt myself into doing whatever it is but sometimes it takes longer than others! Thanks for a refreshing post & to know that even someone as wonderful, witty & wise as you has don’t want to days!
As long as we’re getting honest here, I’ll admit it…. When I hit a funk, a wall that I just can’t climb, I usually push through to the end of the day until The Hubs comes home. At that point, after dinner, we have a margarita together. I know. It’s not some superspiritual answer, but we’re being real, right? I’m completely analytical, so sometimes I just need someone to sit me down, make me relax and say,”STOP TAKING YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY.”
There’s a reason Psalm 23 says: He (God) MAKES me lie down in green pastures.
More often than not, that’s God, working through my husband, saying: Stop. Relax. Remember what is important. Look over here. Remember this? This is why…. oh! and here’s a little more get up and go….”
When I can’t find my want to, I admit it and give myself permission to not want to. It will pass quickly and then I will get back on track because I will have my want to back.
Once again your writings spoke to my soul Mr. Scoggins
I’m grateful there was something here for you. Thanks for taking the time to let me know. :)
May be one of my favorite posts of yours. Thanks, Chance.
Thanks, Jonathan. :) Kind of you, my friend.
Two things come to mind–one admittedly more glamorous than the other.
(1) If I’m in a funk and at a loss for words, a camera usually helps. Something about having a limited frame to observe what’s around me and being able to play around with focus in a tangible way…
(2) If things are pretty hairy, I may binge on online television for a spell. While not my proudest moments, there are times when diving into another’s story (good, bad and ugly) frees me up to take on my own with a new spunk. I love dissecting characters and asking myself, “What would _____ do in this situation?” (and often later, “What would I do differently?”) Makes for interesting dinner conversation, too.
1 – That’s cool! I’ve never thought of that, but it gets both sides of the brain engaged in a happy way. I’ll try it sometime. :)
2 – I like it. For me, if I’m overwhelmed, it’s hard for me to watch tv guilt free. It relieves stress and brings stress at the same time. But I do like the idea of pretending Jack Bauer could take over my life for a bit. He’d have it all fixed in less than 24 hours.
I agree with you 100% on being real. I truly believe there is a time for everything and every emotion. A time for letting our guard down and raising the bar in transparency with people. I love transparent. Sometimes we have to thrown down the gauntlet and put our weaknesses out there, and make others feel safe to do the same.
And yet, I think there is something healing in praising anyway. Of counting our blessings when the temptation to focus on the bad is very present. Of choosing joy. Of reminding ourselves of the good.
I think there is this delicate balance in being real. I think real is honesty, but it is also the courage to see the good in a world that makes focusing on negativity a sport.
You do these things well. :)
Thanks, Kim. This is awesome perspective. I totally believe it in this moment and see the good in it. Isn’t it interesting that it’s a hard choice to make in the moment? Hmm…
Whenever I am having a horrible day, or my attitude just needs major adjustments, I grab my camera and head out in my car asking God to open my eyes to something beautiful. Sometimes, this means driving in unusual directions, and occasionally getting lost. The best time I ever had getting lost, I wound up at the entrance to a wonderful area by the name of Hidden Lakes Gardens, which I had never even heard about before. It is now one of my favorite places to go when I need some peace and beauty, and has given me some of my favorite photographs. On the other hand, the worst time I had getting lost, I very nearly wound up sliding into a lake in the darkness that was hidden beyond a sharp curve. That was scary, and one trip I hope to not repeat! ;-)
When I feel that my compass is off, and my soul is hurting, then I experience again the joy of being “found” in Christ through the wonder of His creation. He often calms my soul and opens my eyes to see things that I might otherwise miss.
Best yet? He even loves me on my grumpy days!
Thank you, Chance, for allowing us all to feel welcome just as we are. Cupcakes and all.
Cupcakes and all. ;)
Thanks for weighing in, Aileen. Great perspective.
Your funk is our gain, Chance! You encourage even when you say you don’t want to be inspirational. Now THAT is an art, my friend.
Well, it was an accident. ;) I was almost mad that I got a post out of my rant. Proved to me it’s right to move through it…Didn’t care to reinforce that thought at the time. ha!
you are remarkable.
thank you.
Wow. Thanks, Rachel. Kind words.
“This too shall pass” has been a favorite (and helpful) phrase of mine for many years. My 30-something daughter gave me a wooden plaque not long ago with those words carved into it. It helps. Other things I do when my Want To can’t be found (I think it must go out and frolic around with your Want To some days) are 1) to meditate until all the garbage falls away (meditation is what we free thinkers do instead of pray — it serves the same purpose) and 2) lose myself in a good book to give my Want To a chance (no pun intended) to slip in through the back door. Thanks, Chance, for today’s little slice of honesty.
Meditation/prayer, books and a great quote…pretty great list. :) I love books too. It’s been a while since I’ve read a book purely for the fun of it. I think it’s time for something frivolous. I’m picking something up TONIGHT. Thanks for the nudge.
Usually one of those days can be fixed with a nap….so many times you’re really just exhausted. But the two cupcakes….that should have done it!!! Lol!! Love you Chance :)
YES – I needed a nap bad! Needed those cupcakes too. Ha! I didn’t tell Jen I ate them, so when she saw this post, she called me out. I told her “That’s why I ate them when you weren’t around. You wouldn’t have let me have them.” ;)
Love you, Cindy. Made me happy to see your name pop up here. xo
Man I enjoyed (and needed) this post today! Thank you!
That makes my day. Thanks for reading.
I have to talk about “it”, whatever it is. I pray, journal, sometimes cry, then hug my dog, ride my horse, hug my hubby and then everything is okay.
That’s a solid list. I like it a lot. :) Thanks for taking the time to comment.
I’m so glad to see you be this honest..and vulnerable. It’s refreshing and makes us feel like we aren’t alone.. We all have days like this and I think it’s important to always be honest about them… thanks for sharing this day with us Chance.. love you!
That’s what I was thinking. I sat down to write the post I’d planned and it felt fraudulent and forced. This felt “clean”. Thanks for reading, my friend. I sure do love you.
Yeah…I was in a serious funk yesterday to. So much so that I had to apologize later to some co-workers for being so crabby.
My bad day began before the tragedy in Boston, but that just added to it.
It continued all the way until my vocal lesson at 8:30 pm. When I went into the practice room with my teacher, all the junk just fell away and I was able to ‘escape’ for 30 minutes. The joy I received from that lesson lasted for the rest of the evening. Thank you Lord for that!
I don’t have any magic formula…but here are a few things that have helped me…
1. When I’m in a dark place, just reminding myself that “This Too Shall Pass” can bring peace.
2. Prayer. A few minutes of quiet prayer can sometimes break up the dark clouds.
3. Escape/Retreat. Just getting away or mixing things up (like in my vocal lesson) for even a short bit can work wonders.
Drudgery is part of the human condition. I think part of our spiritual life journey is about learning how to embrace and transform it.
Blessings!
I’m with you. Any sort of creative discipline can wash the junk away – especially if you have a great teacher who inspires you and makes you better. Great list here. Thanks for sharing it!
Good for you, Chance. Your transparency just put a smile on my face this morning. I’m crazy about you. If we had a hot cup of coffee and a good visit we’d both feel better. You’re the best!
MARY GRAHAM! Seeing your name just made my day! :)
I’m crazy about you too, my friend…A good visit with you would be medicine for my soul. I sure do miss you.
Thanks for taking the time to read this post – and your comment made me smile at least as much as my post made you smile. Love you. xo
When I face a “can’t do it” day or week, I often go to a letter I wrote to myself two years ago. I listed my dreams and hopes and really encouraged myself to be brave in pursuit of God and my purpose here.
Yes, the fearful voice is sometimes mine… but so is the powerful, courageous voice. And sometimes I just need to hear an echo of that courage to be reminded and refocused.
Thank you Chance… being vulnerable and real is beautiful!
You wrote yourself a letter? That’s interesting. How cool to invest good words and encouragement in your future you. I like the thought.
Thanks for the thought…I’m gonna put this on my list of things to do. :)
This post came at the perfect time. I have been in the funk for several weeks. Spring fever as my mama called it, could be but the fact is I just don’t want to do anything. I have whined and complained, read everything I could get my hands on for uplifting motivation and gotten a severe pep talk from my mentor. I got nothin. I write a morning musing to my co-workers at another firm location everyday and I’m really having a difficult time. Whats worse is I am also going to school full-time and maintaining that 4.0 while gratifying it is really tough and now I have gotten to the point where I’ll have to burn that midnight oil till its smokin to catch up. Part of me can’t stand the thought of anything less. So thanks for the post, I am going to drag myself to my books and tough it out.
Wow – you’ve got a lot going on. I’ll bet that can feel overwhelming at times. I love what you’re up to, though. Good and important stuff you listed here. Sounds like it’ll all be worth it on the other side of the tough part.
I guess if it didn’t cost us much, it wouldn’t be worth much.
Thanks for sharing your insight here. :)
I so needed this! Thank you for being transparent.
I’m glad, Cindy. I did too. Thanks for taking the time to read my post – and for your encouragement too.