Early this week, I had some errands to run, and I asked my girls if they wanted to come with me. I felt like I’d won a prize when our two year old, Emmy, said yes. She doesn’t normally choose to leave her Mommy’s side if she can help it. Even more curious, Jalen said no, and she’s one of those kids who asks “Where are we going next?” when you haven’t even arrived at your first destination yet.
I was excited to get some time alone with my little Emmy. We sang silly songs and made up stories in the car. She was a big help with my errands and gave me loves when I got her in and out of her car seat. We had a great time. On our way home, I asked her if she wanted to stop and choose a little surprise for her mom and sister. She excitedly said yes, so I stopped at The Dollar General Store.
Have you been in a Dollar Store lately? I hadn’t been in one for years! This place is awesome! Where else are you gonna get hamster food and an Ogilvie home perm for a buck each? I turned Emmy loose. She was on a mission. She stopped every two steps, picked up anything in front of her and said, “Let’s get this, Daddy! Mommy will looove this. It’s boootiful!”
“Well, actually, baby… That’s a clown wig. I don’t think Mommy needs one of those.” Two steps later, she’d find something new, and so on. We eventually settled on a 4 pack of bubble gum.
About that time, we made it to the toy aisle where every little thing was perfect for her big sister. “Let’s get this, Daddy! She’ll looove this. It’s boootiful!” It was all perfect (ly awful) until she saw them. On the top shelf was a purple box. “Daddy, that’s it! That’s the one I want!”
I pulled it down, and handed it to her. Her face lit up when she saw them up close – two identical dollies, one dressed in blue, one dressed in pink. She said it differently this time. “Daddy, I want this one. Can these babies come home with us?”
She wanted to hold the box as we made our way to the checkout line. About half way there, she said, “Jalen will have the pink one, and I will have the blue one”. It struck me as odd because I thought she’d keep the pink one for herself.
I let a moment or two pass by, then I asked her, “Hey, Em… what’s your favorite color?”.
She didn’t hesitate. “Pink!”, she said, with a great big smile on her face.
“So you’re gonna give the pink one to your sister even though it’s your favorite?”
“Daddy, pink is Jalen’s favorite too!”
And right there, the Dollar Store became a schoolhouse. My two and a half year old became a teacher, and I became her student.
Would I have done the same thing?
I’m sad to say I don’t think I would have. I mean, in small things – sure. You can have the last piece of cake. You can choose what we watch on tv. But if I held what we both wanted in my hands, and I could keep it for myself or give it to you, what would I do? Painfully, I’ve realized that
I want you to do well.
I want you to have everything you could want.
But not the thing I wanted.
Not before I have it.
Not instead of me.
I’m much more comfortable with the thought of you having my second choice.
And were it in my power to control, I confess I might leave you holding the blue doll.
Ugh.
I want a heart like hers.
I want to choose you before I choose myself.
I want to treat you well, not for what you’d think of me, but because of how I feel for you.
I want to give in a way that costs me something.
I left that moment inspired by thoughtfulness I once possessed, but have forgotten somewhere along the way. And In the days since, Emmy’s choice has become a challenge I can’t shake – one that I don’t want to shake.
What if we all committed to giving up something great – something we need or would love, so someone else could have it instead?
I’m not talking about donating your old clothes. I’m not talking about change in a beggar’s cup. I’m talking about giving beyond what’s comfortable.
Maybe you buy something you’ve had your eye on, then give it away and do without it.
Maybe you offer your time and help to someone who can’t reciprocate.
Maybe you share information that could unlock someone else’s future, even though it’s the thing that makes you smarter than them.
There are countless ways you could stretch yourself to give. It can be charity or thoughtfulness, but give extravagantly. You guys, I’ve done this twice recently, and can I tell you something? It’s HARD! This isn’t flowery talk. If you get beyond the touchy-feelyness of the idea, and actually face the challenge, it will touch a nerve in you. I can’t prove this, but in my gut, I know this.
We’ll never become who we’re meant to be –
Or have what we’re meant to have –
We’ll never do all we’re meant to do –
Until we give in ways that cost us something.
Join me at the schoolhouse. Take the Emmy Challenge.
This Post Has 24 Comments
Comments are closed.
Little kids are amazing the way they come out with their little gems of wisdom. It’s justan affirmation that you and your wife have done a good job. It’s kind of like gardening you fixed the ground for them but they’ve mixed all the seed packets together and you’ll never know what will pop up. However, you can be assured of a bountiful harvest!
Chance, I so loved this post. It reminded me of things my two children (now grown and nearly grown) would say and do that surprised, delighted and challenged me. Thank you for your constant encouragement.
I can only imagine what’s up ahead for us. This was Emmy’s first time teaching me something out of who she is vs me learning by fathering her. Stunned me to learn from my 2 year old, and it makes me wonder what I’ll learn in the days to come.
Hi Chance, I so know how it feels when children teach us things we already knew. I have a four year old granddaughter that teaches me things her young minds sees that this old mind doesn’t. God speaks through these young minds and I tend to listen and learn myself. Thanks for sharing, you’re awesome with words. I’m glad to know you and be a part of your life when we meet, I hope it’s soon!
Mr. Scoggins, Thank YOU! Your daughters heart and pure innocence has changed my WHOLE perspective on life, people and purpose. My heart is so tender right now and the EMMY CHALLENGE has taken me into another frame of mind as to how we are to love and esteem others higher than ourselves. Each time I shared this life changing story today, I was bought to tears feeling the peace and release of GOD in me to the commitment in giving up some great things – things we need or would love, even people that we attach ourselves to, so someone else could have it instead…WOW (tears…) I too want…
“I want a heart like hers. I want to choose you before I choose myself.
I want to treat you well, not for what you’d think of me, but because of how I feel for you.I want to give in a way that costs me something.”
Thank you this has changed my heart and life….FOREVER!
God Bless You!
Wow, Terrell. What kind words. I’m so grateful this post connected with you so much! Thank you for taking the time to let me know. You’ve made my day. Thanks for reading. :)
I have very little to give financially or tangibly, but it’s time that becomes the gift I can give sacrificially. Sometimes when I have my hours planned strategically, opportunities will arise that force me to choose between giving of myself to someone or accomplishing a task. That’s the lesson I’m learning right now. But sadly, some people I love don’t recognize time and presence as a gift. It makes me want to stop giving, but then I remember the grace and presence of God that is given to me without condition or limit. If I am giving only to receive something in return, then it is not truly giving. Love gives just for the sake of love, and keeps on giving even when its object is unkind, ungrateful or oblivious. Love gives without need of recognition or reciprocation. I’m still working on that one.
I have very little to give financially or tangibly, but it’s time that becomes the gift I can give sacrificially…
You can get more money – you can get more stuff. Your time is your GREATEST gift. It’s the only thing we can’t get more of.
I just read this comment again and I really appreciate you sharing it, Brenda. Thank you. I love when you say, “If I am giving only to receive something in return, then it is not truly giving.” Gulp! Hard words to take in, but so true. And thank you also for the reminder to value people’s time and presence as a gift. I admit I’ve been guilty of taking it for granted. I guess that’s the naivety of being 30-something. And I’ll work on that. :)
Hi Chance, I was thinking about this this morning. More about fear, and how it keeps us from doing what we should. If we share Christ with a beggar and n maybe they receive him, or maybe he is a believer, do we just say “be warm and be filled” or do we do what the early church did and sell everything so that no one is in need? I have been challenged lately about my selfishness.
I’m in, Chance! Your little girl has a heart of gold and I want to take her challenge. I actually did that before, I chose someone before myself but that was all because if I hadn’t done that I’d have felt terrible. I always feel bad when I think I might be a reason for someone’s feeling unhappy…. even when it’s not actually my fault…. at least not completely. I know it’s not a good enough reason for giving. It’s a real challenge to give in big ways you’re talking about, maybe one of the hardest challenges one may ever face, but it’s totally worth learning to do that. I’m going to share this post with everyone I know… I know people who desperately need the lesson your little Emmy can teach them. By the way, I love that your daughter and I have the same nicknames. :)
WOO HOO!! :) Thanks for getting in, and thanks for sharing the post! I love that her little lesson for me is crossing oceans to challenge other people. Huge smile on my face!
Great principle that we definitely need to grasp. Stop giving our trash and start giving our best. Thanks for sharing and challenging me today. It is amazing where we put our priorities.
Stop giving our trash and start giving our best…
Yes. And the crazy thing is that we RARELY EVER give our best away. Even just once or twice would be an improvement for most of us.
Thanks for the challenge. I pray God will give me a big heart like Emmie’s!! What a sweetheart she must be!!!
Thank you, Carol. Yes… she is amazing. I’m a lucky man.
Chance!
Wow! I loved this and will be tweeting it out as soon as I finish this little fan letter. Powerful stuff, buddy! You are a great dad. That is evidence by the fact that you are always seeking wisdom in situations most folks would overlook. You are also a great friend, evidenced by the time you took to think this through, gather the lesson, and convey it to us in a way that we “get it”.
Thanks so much!
Andy
What to say? I don’t even know how to express how much these encouraging words mean to me coming from you. Thank you for clearing a path on the road up ahead. I’ve learned so much from your storytelling and your friendship.
Thanks also for your tweet. You introduced me to many people far out of my reach. I so appreciate you sharing your readers and friends with me. The support means… well, you know what it means. Thank you so much, sincerely.
This is wonderful. LOVE IT!!
Thanks, Debi. :)
Absolutely beautiful, the innocence and beauty of a child. We all need to be taught by children, and this is a great reminder. I loved this! Thank you for sharing.
Wow, this is such a beautiful story. And inspiring to me as I’m in the process of giving something I don’t want to give.
Way to go, Barb!!! GOOD for you! Not just “good for you”… it will be GOOD for you. My hope is that you can tangibly see how.
So good. So so good. As a single mom facing some of the most difficult times of my life, I have both experienced this truth at the hands of those who know it, and those who ignore it. Last year I asked for donations for gifts for single parents. I received some beautiful things. Perfume, purses jewelry, gift cards…and then a bag of used discarded clothes. I had to throw them away. They were worn out castoffs….and they were from the wealthiest contributor. When we give something irrelevant, it serves no purpose…in fact I believe it causes strife. You are right..in sacrifice, comes blessings.