My Dad could build anything. He wasn’t just handy. He could create almost anything you could dream up, be it a piece of furniture, a home to put it in, or a skyscraper. It all seemed to be the same kind of easy for him. He’d say, “It’s just a box. It’s just a matter of how fancy you want your box to be.’’ Of course, anyone looking on could see the truth. He was a master.
Growing up with Superman wasn’t easy. It was actually kind of painful for a kid like me. For whatever natural ability he had, I had an equal and opposite clumsiness. My lack of skills made me hesitant to try and afraid to fail… until one day when I was in eighth grade.
I was alone in the house when I decided I needed some new shelves in my closet. I have no idea what emboldened me to try to build them myself, but I grabbed Dad’s tool belt, and strapped it around my waist. I can still remember the awkwardness I felt walking through the house with the extra weight and my father’s tools hanging at my side.
I got to work, making each step twice as hard as it should have been. I choked up so high on the hammer it took a dozen strikes to drive a nail, and I probably hit my fingers as many times as I connected. But I didn’t quit. I persisted – and I did it! Yes, they were ugly and uneven. Yes, I was exhausted and bruised.
But I did it.
You’re likely thinking, Chance conquered his fear and he got better. Today, he builds shelves and skyscrapers for fun on the weekend. But that’s not how this story ends.
I didn’t realize Dad had come home while I was working and he’d been watching me. As I finished and stepped back, he entered the room and stood beside me. Together, we stood there in silence, admiring my handiwork.
He broke it by saying, “Son, I’m so proud of you. You did it! Those are the worst looking shelves I’ve ever seen!”
We both burst out laughing. It was a perfect moment – a perfect burn. I’m even laughing remembering it now.
We sat down, and he continued. “I really am proud of you, you know? I’m glad you tried. But it’s time to put the hammer down, Chance. You’re never gonna be a good builder. And you know what? You don’t need to be. That’s not what you’re here for. You go do what YOU do, and do it so well that you can hire someone to do what you don’t do.
Something inside me said yes.
He was right. I could have worked and worked, trying harder and harder – and eventually my skill level would have improved from “terrible” to ‘’will do in a pinch if no one else is available’’.
I learned a huge lesson that day. Play to your strengths – and avoid your weaknesses. Many of us make it our goal to become well rounded. But society doesn’t actually honor well-rounded people. We applaud and promote experts. And every moment we spend focusing on our weaknesses is a moment we’re not investing to improve the strengths that lead to our purpose.
My Dad freed me that day. He didn’t give me a pass for laziness. He didn’t allow me to avoid hard things. But he focused my attention and energy in the direction that I’d be most effective, helpful, happy and successful. He released me from trying to excel where he’d excelled – to be ‘me’ instead of a lesser version of him. He insisted I give 100% to the cause of becoming great where I showed natural ability. And today, I’m reaping the benefits of having focused my attention towards my strengths instead of my weaknesses.
I’m not handy! There, I said it! And you know what? It doesn’t even sting. Putting the hammer down was one of the best choices I’ve ever made in my life.
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Chance, I’ve been out of the country so I’m late to this party but once again, I LOVE how you write and what you say. You may not build with a hammer but you are a great ‘builder’ of people, music, life. If I had a hammer, I’d ask you to produce it. Keep writing. Please?
**kerPLUNK**
thank you, sir.
Love it. Made me laugh.
“…every moment we spend focusing on our weaknesses is a moment we’re not investing to improve the strengths that lead to our purpose.”
Thanks Chance…great perspective…love it.
Thanks, Topher. :)
Yes, once again you’ve (pardon the pun) “hit the nail on the head.” For so many of us, it seems like we spend so much of our time trying to “be________________.” What ever it is….but I have indeed learned just this last year (at 46) to be the best authentic version of..well, myself. It is so liberating. Blessings!
Amazing that it takes us so long to commit to be ourselves, right?! Good for you. Imagine what you can do now that you know what you didn’t know before. Great days ahead.
This is a message I needed to hear today Chance. Thank you.
Thanks, Theresa. I read YOUR post too, and it ROCKED! I’m glad you’re writing. We need your words.
Chance, this post is exactly what most of us need to read. I guess lots of people find it pretty convinient to be well-rounded and don’t really want to look inside themselves to find out what their strengths are. that’s funny that I’ve learned the same lesson you did from almost the same situation. It was sewing instead of building though. :) I come from a very crafty family and for years I was admiring things my mother and sister could do. I tried so hard to sew but whatever I did it never turned out half as good as the stuff they made. It went on until the day I realised I wasn’t supposed to do the same things they could do. So I told myself to leave it alone and move on with the journey of finding “my” things. It’s just that my family kept telling me that if I had tried harder I’d finally have gotten better at sewing. :)
Great story, Anna-Emily. I identify completely.
Dang. Right between the eyes, friend. Excellent post.
Thanks, Jonathan. Glad it resonates with you.
Chance, I feel like an idiot for asking, but how do I share your blog on FB?? You inspire me every week and I want to spread the wealth:). Love your transparency and humility!! Your dad is smiling on you for sure!!!
Hi Jeannie,
There are a couple of easy ways to share from this blog on Facebook. You can copy and paste the URL (https://www.chancescoggins.com/step-away-from-the-hammer) into the “Update Status” box on Facebook then click Post. Or you can scroll up to the top of the post and click “Share” button. For the Share function on this page, you will need to already be logged in to Facebook. If you’re not logged in, you will be prompted to enter your username and password.
Hope that helps…happy sharing!
Yes, and you can also just press the Facebook icon at the bottom or top of the post. That will prompt a box to come up where you can write something to your friends. Then press share.
THANKS, you two.
Thanks, Jeannie. I kinda feel like he is. And mom too. :) Mom’s saying, “Look what he’s doing!” Dad’s saying, “He’s just telling stories about me – I’m awesome.” ;)
Thanks so much for sharing, Chance! I shared a quote with my Facebook audience. I agree, and I’ve seen this principle at work in my life and my career.
Great!!
And thanks for sharing! :)
As a kid growing up, the adage “jack of all trades, but master of none” was fairly common. It was intended to be a lament that, as we seek to do more, we master less. But overtime, people saw it as a great way to be diverse. There are a lot of things I *can* do. Like Nessa, it took me a long time to find out what it was I was meant to do. The funny thing is, it took stepping out and doing something I had no interest in doing at the time (but could do, and sense God leading me to do it) to find the thing that I’m passionate about doing! It’s been an interesting journey!
The funny thing is, it took stepping out and doing something I had no interest in doing at the time (but could do, and sense God leading me to do it) to find the thing that I’m passionate about doing!
Isn’t that crazy? I’ve heard similar stories. Sometimes simply obeying the inner pull – or serving others – leads us somewhere we never would have thought was perfect for us. Strange how that happens, but I’ve seen others find their purposes this way as well. Love it!
Thanks for sharing that – I like how you said it.
Great post! I’ve thought this same thing for a long time but I do have a question in relation to this. What if you are someone who is just a well-rounded person, what if you don’t know what your big strength or talent is? I’m one of those people who catches on to just about anything fairly quickly and am good at lots of different things but I don’t have just one or two things that stand out as being me. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how to determine what you were made for if it’s less obvious or feels completely unapparent. Since you clearly know your giftings you may not have much input on this subject, but I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and you seem to be a pretty smart, insightful guy, so I figured it didn’t hurt to pick your brain a bit. Thanks!
Nessa!!! I LOVE THIS QUESTION!!! I love that you’re asking it! I think you represent so many other people – and really, all of us at some point. I’m stepping into a meeting, but I felt compelled to not wait to thank you. Will respond later, but again, great question.
Nessa, I’ve held your question in my heart for days. I think you so perfectly verbalized the frustrating struggle so many of us feel. I’m going to make this the topic of a near future post. I’ll email you when it’s up. Would love to continue this conversation. I think it’s an important one.
This has recently come to mind again and I was wondering if you’d ever had a chance to write on this and I just missed it. If so, can you please send me a link? And if not, what’s the hold up? :) (note the joking nature of this comment.. haha)
I just love your writings! Thank you for the great reminder to be who God made me to be and not someone else.We each have our own talents and gifts.We need to find what they are and use them to the fullest!
Thank you, Debbie. I love your words here – true!
Thanks Chance! Consider it brought. I needed to hear this. I was on the brink of wanting to quit yesterday. I can do the thing I wanted to quit, but I let other’s lack of appreciation(which is probably lack of understanding) throw me in a tail spin. I let others who don’t take me seriously cause me to question if I am on the right path. But, I love this thing. I may have to claw my way up, but I’m still fighting!
I was nervous… glad I brought it. ;)
I have no idea what you’re talking about, but this… I love this thing. I may have to claw my way up, but I’m still fighting! … makes it seem that you’re on the right track. That’s coming from inside you. The rest of it is opposition for you to settle for something less than you were meant for.
Chance,
Another great post! It really is one of society’s contradictions that we should become as well rounded as possible, meanwhile watch as those that have become masters of their craft are lifted up.
Thanks for such a great reminder to be great at what you’re great at, and don’t worry about the rest.
Love this comment, Brian. And thanks for putting it into practice and being such a great example of this principle.
Scoggins, you’re brilliant. Thank you again for challenging me. It’s not in vain. I’ll try to step away from one of the hammers today :)
Thanks, sweet Eva. Thanks for reading and for your consistent support – in all things.