This week I did some early Christmas shopping. I know some of you are already finished and everything’s wrapped beautifully beneath your tree. I wanna let you in on a little secret – the rest of us don’t like you very much.
I’m that guy who’s out on the 24th and wrapping things minutes before the gift exchange, so I’m pretty proud of myself right now for shopping early. And as it turns out, it’s more fun without the panic and road rage I’ve grown so accustomed to.
I’d stopped for a quick bite in the food court when a distinguished man in his fifties approached and sat down at the next table. He was wearing an expensive, Italian suit with shoes to match and no tie. He seemed out of place in the food court, or at the mall for that matter. He was overdressed for shopping, and given the time, it was unlikely he’d come from the office. He struck me as the type who wears a suit because he prefers to.
He took off his coat, sat down and settled in to eat. As he rolled up his sleeves, my preconceptions fell to the floor and gave way to curiosity. Each fold of his cuff revealed more of what turned out to be a sleeve of colorful and intricate tattoos covering his arms. I was so surprised. Right in front of me, he seemed to become a different person than he’d been just a minute earlier.
He looked up from his tray, caught me looking at his tattoos and graciously let me off the hook. “You getting much shopping done?”
“A little – I’m just starting.”, I said. “I’m sorry. You totally busted me…I was checking out your tattoos. I was surprised to see them on someone like you. But they’re really cool.”
“No problem. I get that a lot. And thanks. They remind me of some of the people and places I don’t ever want to forget.” He turned his arms over, so I could see the other side.
I asked him a couple of questions about them, and as he spoke, I could soon tell I was talking to someone who’d seen a lot of the world, lived a big life and had a lot to share. If he was into talking, I was into listening.
When I asked him about his work, he said, “My company is doing well. But in spite of that, I’m still living a pretty great life.”
“What do you mean?”
He ate a bite of his sandwich and said, “I don’t think most people get this, and I learned it the hard way… Success and living a great life aren’t the same thing. You know? Success might hand you everything you ever thought you wanted… but nothing will keep you from your adventure more than chasing after comfort.”
Dang! It hit me like a rock. I could fill pages with how it resonated in me, but just read your own journal instead. You already get it. We work so hard to create a comfortable life, but most of us get chained up in the process. And once we finally do get comfortable, we wouldn’t possibly consider changing course because of all we could lose. We make most of our life choices based on mortgage payments, car loans, insurance, and our 401K.
Who owns what? What owns who?
How might our lives be if we weren’t spending so much of our time and choices pursuing a comfortable life?
“I’ve never followed crowds much”, he said. “It’s helped me in business, but even more so, it’s helped me in life… I’ve got some nice things, but they don’t have me. I want the adventure. I want the experience.” He pointed to his arms and said, “These are my stories, my greatest memories. This is my life.” Then, he pointed to his jacket draped on the chair next to him. ”That’s just a suit.”
We talked a little while longer, and as I got up from the table to get back to my shopping, I introduced myself and said goodbye. “It was nice to talk to you.”
“Nice talking to you too”, he said, and as he reached out his hand to shake mine, I noticed a little open spot above his elbow.
“You’ve got a vacancy there.”
He smiled and said, “You never know where life is gonna take you”.
I didn’t get his name, but the man with the suit and the tattoos gave me my first Christmas present this year. He totally changed my perspective as I was shopping. And since then, the questions have lingered.
Am I pursuing adventure, or am I pursuing comfort?
Do I have stuff – or does stuff have me?
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I just read this post, but it’s still timely. The part that gave me pause: “I’ve never followed crowds much”, he said. “It’s helped me in business, but even more so, it’s helped me in life… I’ve got some nice things, but they don’t have me. I want the adventure. I want the experience.” He pointed to his arms and said, “These are my stories, my greatest memories. This is my life.” Then, he pointed to his jacket draped on the chair next to him. ”That’s just a suit.” Wow!
I KNOW! It was a great moment…I’ll carry that with me for a long, long time. Glad it spoke to you too!
Amazing story! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks, Lil. I appreciate you taking the time to read it. Glad it spoke to you!
Chance, what an incredible story. Pursuing adventure or comfort. It seems the more comfortable you are, the less adventurous you may become. In turn, that may end up making you less successful and then less comfortable in the end. I’m intrigued by your many thoughts in this post. Thank you for sharing this! (And, as someone who is also running into the mall on Christmas Eve, I’m impressed that you were shopping so early! Since you’re not too far away, we may even shop at the same mall…so I will look for you.)
Skip! Great insight here. Thank you for taking time to share your thoughts. “…Less comfortable in the end…” Yes, isn’t that ironic? It’s so complicated. It was a great conversation. I wish I could have shared every small detail. I’m still chewing on it, and likely will be for a long while.
Will be looking out for you at the mall. I will most definitely be there. Wouldn’t be Christmas without the last minute panic. ;)
I always love that I read a post of yours right when I need it.
Thanks.
I’ve spent my career in the non-profit sector because that’s where I thought I could really learn about how society works – and try to make it better in some small way.
For the past few years I stayed at a place that caused many of its employees a lot of unhappiness, but I think we all told ourselves there was a greater answer so we chased after that answer.
Now, a few months after leaving and saying yes to a giant opportunity, I realize that the chase became the goal and that’s never good.
I’ve got tattoos and a corporate office and I work in philanthropy and finally feel a connection to what I desire, what I’m good at and how I think I can be helpful. It’s nice. And like I said, this post is so welcome because it just feels so timely!
Boy, am I ever busted!! I’ve spent the past 26 years of my career chasing after comfort. It took me leaving that warm and fuzzy zone to realize that the ladder I was climbing was leaning against the wrong wall the whole time! I LOVED this blog post, Chance. Plain and simple. Not to mention, I needed to read it too. Funny, how our paths cross with folks like this, who we will never meet again, yet they leave an indelible mark on our psyche, sort of like a tattoo. Blessings to you and your sweet family this Christmas.