When Jennifer and I first married, we planned to defy the odds. Despite all the examples we’d seen, we vowed we wouldn’t get into the suburban rut. We’d keep our old friends, even the single ones! We’d see movies… in the theater! We’d stay current on the latest books and music! And more than anything else, we would continue to travel.
The day our first daughter was born, all of that was thrown out the window and replaced by a diaper bag and 7pm house arrest. You think you can take your kid anywhere, and adapt them to your life, until you actually have one. Once you become a parent, Netflix, Tivo and TMZ become your main links to the outside world, and you’re left wondering, “What happened to me?”
Shortly after Jalen was born, Jen and I were recounting all the crazy changes that were taking place in our lives and I said, “Is this who we are now?” She smiled and said, “It’s who we are for now.” Truth be told, we loved it. We were ready for the sacrifice and eager to raise a family, but we could also sense we were letting go of a piece of us. It was sad, even though it was worth it.
That day, we made a promise to ourselves and to each other, that when our kids were old enough to be without us, we’d run away to Europe and remember who we used to be. This week, Jennifer and I are keeping our four year old promise. Our bags are packed and we’ll soon be on our way. As the day draws closer, I’m blown away that this is happening. When we dreamed up this trip, it was completely impractical. It was so beyond the realm of our reality, we might as well have been wishing for a trip to the moon.
We didn’t have the money.
We didn’t have time.
We had too many people relying on us.
We had too many responsibilities.
We. could. not. go.
So often it’s our instinct to list all the reasons why our dreams can’t happen. We fight against ourselves and get in our own way, sealing our fate before life ever tells us no. What if we made a different choice? What if we decided that regardless of what’s sensible or foreseeable, we’d pursue our dream with hope and faith?
Instead of saying, “I can’t do that!”, what if we asked ourselves, “How could I do that?” When Jennifer and I began to ask this question, amazingly, the answers began to come. It’s taken four years of strategy and sacrifice, but here we are. Keeping our promise. Doing what seemed impossible not long ago.
Do you have an impractical dream? Big or small, is there something in your heart that you’re ignoring or pushing aside, sure that it’s impossible? What if it’s not? What if life is waiting for you to pursue the possibility?
Make a promise to yourself.
Nurture it with hope and action.
Instead of saying, “I can’t do that”, ask yourself, “How could I do that?”
When circumstances get in the way, don’t let it derail you.
Never stop making small, consistent sacrifices to inch your way closer.
One day – maybe sooner than you thought possible – you’ll see the impossible becoming possible. And on that day, you’ll feel what I’m feeling today.
I sincerely want that for you.
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Great post. It could not have come at a better time. I woke up today overwhelmed by what life wasn’t or how it doesn’t look like I planned. Your pat really resonated with me. Keep writing and enjoy your trip.
This is why I write. You’ve made my day. And thank you for expressing what so many of us feel – all of us at times. As you already know, I’m sure. You’re in a better place than you’re giving yourself credit for… but it can be better still, and that’s reason to reach.
this is the first time I have read your blog… and wow, does it hit home. I married my husband when I was 18, and I don’t regret one minute of it….we have been married for almost 19 years. we have 2 sons they are 9 and 14, and I love them dearly. But somewhere along this journey I feel I have been lost, it’s hard to explain, but it’s like every day is just another day. I know this is not all that God has planned for me, but I find it hard to get out of this rut. But hearing you phrase: “how can I achieve that goal?”, instead of allowing the excuses to pop up…..That is what I am going to strive for ! thanks for sharing =)
Thank you so much for taking time to read. This blog is for people just like you. It truly is my passion to shake us all all of our ruts and to obliterate the lies we tell ourselves that hold us back from all our lives were meant to be… me included. If this is your first time reading, please go back and read some older posts. They will speak to you!!! Promise. Start with “How will you know it was worth it?”. We’re on a similar path with similar pitfalls.
“How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!”
I appreciate this reminder that everything, no matter how big or small, has to start with that first “bite”. Thank you :-)
Thank YOU. :)
Thanks Chance….for MAKING ME CRY!!!! This was so sweet, so humbling to read, so honest. I, too, say, maybe later. Not now. My kids need me. Oh, let me get to the other side of this…whole, happy, with my sweet family in tact and my kids confident, ambitious, compassionate. And yet when I sing, it feels like all is right in the world. It could be a year in between – but when I step on a stage – I can’t describe it. There’s no striving, no struggle, no pretending….it’s like breathing. But…the cost of all of it…maybe later. But in my heart, Chance, I sing and sing and sing. Will consider what you’ve said….baby steps are better than no steps! Love you! Paige
“Baby steps are better than no steps!” …You said it, my friend. Not only are they better, they’re the ONLY way a dedicated mom is going to keep her dream alive. Don’t shelve yourself. It’s true that in this season you can’t do ‘everything’ to support the other side of you… but you can and must do something. Once a year is not enough. xo
Chance, this was so inspiring. For me, It’s so easy to lose myself in the mundane.. the “getting through the day” rather than inching closer to my dream. It’s easy to FORGET my dream. Thanks for reminding me :) Have a great trip.
I HEAR YOU!! I’ve learned that if I don’t get there by small degrees, I’m not gonna get there. Life is moving too fast, and we have too many things vying for our time to think that we’ll make a dramatic change one day. That’s a lie we tell ourselves to make it okay to shelve ourselves… “It’s just for now.” Don’t forget your dream… You’ve still got it. That’s just plain true.
OMG! This was amazing and you have me sitting in Starbucks about to CRY! Once again you are sharing exactly what I needed in the moment. I am working on one of my “impossibles” right now and I was actually on the verge of giving up because well, it really did feel impossible. Here’s to knowing that what seems impossible can easily become possible with the reframing of a statement to a question, and a little bit of faith!
Enjoy your trip with your lovely wife! And once again, thanks for the reminder!
That fills my heart up, Kristin. Thanks for letting me know. I’m so glad it encouraged you. Next time, let a tear fall. You might get free coffee out of it. Never know… ;)
So glad you can go on this trip!
Thank you for encouraging us that all those “can’ts or someday” things really only require us to start. I know many of us get bogged down with the bottom line or total of what something requires,but we can make small, achievable goals to get to our destination. I love how for you and Jen it just began with a conversation and a commitment.
A big ole amen to your comment. Really well said.
Thanks for the reminder to keep dreaming, even when it doesn’t necessarily make sense to us, or others.
Game changers rarely make sense on the surface. Follow your gut. And DON’T follow other peoples’ fears. They’re doing the best they can… but sometimes their best for you will still hold you back.
Love that perspective!
chance,
i, too, enjoy and look forward to your weekly posts. thank you.
safe travels!
THANK YOU!! :)
My dream is to go with Chance and Jennifer to Europe.
This is life telling you ‘no… but thanks for asking.’ ;)
Love you, friend.
One of the hardest things to do in life seems to be convincing people they can actually go after their dreams.
They just think they are trapped and can’t do anything once they get ensconced in their daily lives, family life, or commitments. But that’s the most important time to reach for your dreams. It keeps you young, and it keeps you alive.
Have a great trip!
EC
YES, Eric. Great perspective. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Love this. I RARELY comment on a blog and I feel compelled to thank you every time I read this. (Oh. And is there room in your bag for me?)
Seriously… if you could know what that does for my heart. Thank you so much, my dear friend. Your encouragement means so much.
AND YES, I’ll make room for YOU. You’re so little it won’t be hard. :)
I’m going to translate this post and share it with a friend of mine who keeps discouraging herself to do something to make her dreams come true. We both want to travel abroad but when it comes to getting an international passport she doesn’t even want to fill the form for getting it. She keeps saying ‘I have no money’ and ‘Why are you getting that passport? You’ll probably put it in a drawer and never even use it’…. I don’t know how it works but I’ve noticed that smaller things draw bigger ones. Like years ago when I was a kid and wanted a computer and it was almost impossible to get one, I used my pocket money to buy an MP3 CD. A year later my family got our first computer. This rule never failed to work since then. Impractical dreams do come true when you believe.
LOVE THIS. I hope she gets her passport. It’s about so much more than it seems on the surface… I’m glad she has a friend like you.
Always love reading your blogs and hearing your heart my friend. You are so loved. Thanks for being honest and so real always!
THANKS, DUSTY!! I feel the love… thank you, my friend. And thanks for taking the time to read my posts too. I appreciate it so much.