The first few weeks of January are the strangest days of the year. You could get a mean case of whiplash if you’re not careful. You’ve just come from the holiday weeks, intentionally slowing down and enjoying your family and friends. You play games and take naps. Heck, you might even see a movie or read a book! WHAT?! That’s crazy talk!
It was the most wonderful time of the year. Hope you liked it because that’s all over now. January’s here and it’s time to pay the piper. You have to work twice as hard to make up all the work you’ve missed. You have to eat half as much and move twice as fast to work off all the fun stuff you ate.
For as many years as I can remember, I’ve used the first couple of weeks of the New Year to chart a course for world domination within the next 12 months. And I would have done it again this year…if not for what happened on Christmas Eve.
Jennifer and I finally got the girls into bed around 9:00 and were preparing the way for Santa to make his visit. I straightened up while she baked cookies. I assembled toys; she wrapped them. I kept the music going; she danced and hummed along. We told stories from our childhood and tried to imagine the girls’ reactions the next morning.
Jen was a sort of happy I haven’t seen in her for a long time. And that made me a sort of happy I haven’t been in longer than I care to admit. Somewhere within it all, I was struck with the thought. No, it was more of a longing…
This is what life is about. Right here – moments like this one – and I’m missing it. My schedule is so filled with “important things” that I’m missing out on the best life has to give.
I need more of this feeling in my life.
For the next couple of weeks, I protected and followed that realization. I shut down my computer at a reasonable time. I put my phone away and focused on the person in front of me. I got down in the floor and played with my kids – and took my wife on little dates. It was nice. It felt “right”.
But from where I stand today, Christmas feels like a distant memory. I’m already feeling pressure to keep up with the hurried pace of the world around me. And when I stop and take a minute for myself or those I love, something in me whispers that I don’t have time, that I’m being lazy or ineffective, that I’ll never get where I’m going wasting my time like this.
What an ugly set of lies.
I worked my tail off last year – and I made a lot of “progress”. But looking back, the truth is, I wish I’d had more fun. So I’m writing today to remind myself and anyone else who’s buckling underneath the weight of a big dream that this year can and should feel different.
I’m a big believer in goal setting and resolutions (though I don’t like the term). It seems smart to me. But as I grow older and wiser, I find myself caring less about a goal itself – and more about the feeling reaching it would bring me.
So I’m adding a new resolution to my list. And though it’s late, it might be the most important of all. In 2014, I’m pursuing the feelings I want out of life – more than any goals I might set.
Yes, I’d love to have a million dollars in the bank…but what I really want is to feel I have enough to give generously. And I can have that feeling – because there are lots of ways to be generous without it costing me a dime.
It’d be awesome to trade 20 pounds of fat for 20 pounds of muscle…but what I really want is to know I’m doing my part to live a long, healthy life. And I can have that feeling – with every single meal choice I make and every single walk I take around my block.
I’ll admit it. I want to be on the A-List in my industry…but what I really want is to feel like I’m making a difference in peoples’ lives. And you know what? I can have that feeling – because true importance is earned and measured by service, not our place on the totem poll.
So as the year continues, let’s be deliberate – not just about naming the things we aim to accomplish, but also the feelings we plan to experience along the way.
I want to feel connected and loved, rich and important.
I want to feel healthy and happy.
I want to live with purpose and passion and meaning – and I want to have a blast doing it!
How about you? Ask yourself these questions and let your answers lead you.
1 – What’s your dream or goal?
2 – What do you really want that your goal would make you feel?
3 – How can you get more of that feeling in your life today, while on your way to accomplishing your goal?
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This happens quite often to me as I try to develop a voice online. I feel like I spent so much time researching or doing something that I never have time to enjoy anything else. Then when I am doing something else I end up thinking about the things that I ‘should’ be doing.
This post was a good reminder to myself that; It is not about reaching our goals, or crossing them off the list, it is about who we become on the journey.
Chance, great post. We often forget about how we want to feel and just where we want to get to. My post today went along a similar line. It talks about enjoying entertainment and still growing.
We can’t neglect the feelings of pleasure and enjoyment while striving for our goals. We’ll wind up empty if we do.
Thanks for the comment, Joseph. I’m looking forward to checking out your writing.
I agree with all the above! Most of all, I need you to know that you have already made a difference in my life and for that I am eternally grateful! Thanks for your heart-felt honesty! God bless you Chance!
That is the best compliment, Larissa. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I’m excited to see where this year takes us all, and I’m glad to be on this journey with so many like-minded friends.
Wow.wow.wow. Something I had never thought of before. Thank you!
Thank you, Ru. This made me smile. :)
Wonderful words. It’s so easy for me to forget those more important things or “the more needful thing” like Jesus said.
Thanks for the reminder
Thanks for taking the time to read it, Scott. :)
Thanks Chance. Another great message. I have grown away from making “resolutions” every year because they’re not as efficient as goals are. Properly set goals are realistic, measurable and have objectives and deadlines. But, of course, when you’re a Dad and a husband, Grandfather, etc., sometimes even goals must be modified.
Have an awesome year! I look forward to hearing more from you!
I’m totally with you here. Agreed with every word – especially as a father of two young kids.
Good stuff, Chance. Thanks. Indeed, the journey is just as important (strike that: often MORE important) than the destination (goal/resolution). And cherishing the little moments (feelings) we find in each step along the path helps us to maintain that healthy perspective (peace, joy, gratitude, generosity, and other delectable goodness).
Thanks for adding sharing your thoughts! Great perspective. :)
This was spot on!! Thanks for the therapy session.
Ha! Thanks, Vic!