Have you ever had one of those ‘perfect people’ in your life? You know the type. Charming and genuine – the kind of smart that makes you wish you’d paid better attention in science class – able to eat anything they want without it affecting their perfectly good looks… Ugh – disgusting, right? If they weren’t so dang likable, we’d hate those people for sure.
I’ve got a really good friend who’s one of them. I can’t prove it, but I’ll bet in high school, he won “Most Likely To Rescue A Baby On His Lunch Break (While Also Playing Guitar Just Because He Can)”. Of all the capable people in my life, he might have the most potential of any of them. But he’s got one fatal flaw.
He’s a dreamer.
Everyday, he wakes up and rushes into the office. He puts in an honest day of work. He earns a good wage. He comes home and after spending some time with his family, he prepares for the next day and falls into bed, exhausted. In his final moments, he dreams of ‘someday’ -when he’ll step beyond this half life he’s living, into one that’s worthy of his gifting and ability.
The next day, he repeats this scenario.
And the next.
And the next.
In fact, he’s lived some version of the same week, and month, and year since I first met him four years ago. Four years. No changes to speak of. All the potential in the world sitting at a desk where he no longer belongs. Stuck in a rut, paying bills, nothing more. He’s trapped. He’s trading the dream in his heart for a paycheck and an occasional pat on the back. He’s taking care of everyone in his world but himself, and when I ask him if he’s aware he’s shelved himself, he says, “It’s just for now. It’ll change someday.”
But will it? I mean, will it automatically? Yes, things change on a daily basis. But do you know any non-lottery winner whose magical someday came? A day when suddenly and with no new action, they were given the opportunity to live a brand new life?
I identify with him. I understand his reasons and his struggle. The honest ones among us will admit we could be doing a lot more to invest our time, rather than just spend it. But what are we supposed to do – quit our jobs and follow our bliss? That would be reckless. We have obligations and people relying on us. It’s just not realistic to consider dramatic changes overnight. Though fair and true, that thought too often serves as our excuse to do nothing at all.
We check out.
We give up.
We stop asking the hard questions.
We procrastinate and complain.
We wish and hope for someday, while today keeps passing us by.
Slowly, we trade our life to become a second rate version of who we were created to be. One who only dreams.
Let it never be true of us again! No more squandered potential! No matter what others choose, let us be counted among those willing to do the work to become our whole selves. Friends, this will require hard work, new choices and stretching ourselves in unfamiliar, uncomfortable directions.
True, we can’t change everything immediately. But, we can change something immediately. And if we make this our new routine instead of falling prey to the daily grind, what might life look like a month from now? And a year from now?
For too many days, most of us have lived a version of the life we lived yesterday and the day before. All the potential in the world and a heart of pure gold is not enough. We’ve got to move beyond simply dreaming. There are no free passes for you and me, but with small, consistent changes, we can make the worthy hopes in our heart a reality. Not just to do something more… to be something more, and most importantly, to give something more.
If you know someone who’s dreaming of someday, please share this post.
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Caught up with a few of your posts tonight…really enjoying these, Chance! Very thought-provoking and inspiring. I’ve always known you to be an insightful guy, but I’m glad the interwebz gets to experience this Chance, too. :-)
Just seeing this comment tonight. Thank you so much, my friend… for reading and for your kind words.
I’ve felt just like the guy at that desk (minus the baby-saving good looks). :) Sometimes it’s easier to dream and say “could have” than put yourself out there and risk the rejection. Praying through some of this myself right now. Would love to connect and grab some of your wisdom on it.
Sometimes it’s easier to dream and say “could have” than put yourself out there and risk the rejection…. YES, Adam… Very true words!! Thank you for writing what so many of us feel. Happy to help if I can.
Good Morning Chance,
Through the grace of God I saw your words on Miss Judy’s page a while ago and knew..This man speaks God’s truths in a way that speaks to me. I’m with all my heart learning to get rid of my doubts and give them to God. Knowing and Trusting, there’s Nothing he can’t handle.
I want you to know that I learn immensely from Your Writings, they speak to my soul. I’d read this before but when you mentioned you’d appreciate comments concerning your written words, I knew I had to comment.
Keep Up the great work Chance. I enjoy learning and laughing while reading your writings.
Aw, thanks for such kind words, Donna. They’re sincerely appreciated. I’m glad grateful these posts are encouraging you.
Thank You Kindly
Very Grateful Judy lead me this way.
I’m grateful she did too. :)
Love this, as usual. For me there are the things I must do everyday like take care of my family and home. I homeschool, so that is also a must thing. For those dreams I have outside of my family life ( and I so think it is ok to have personal dreams), I persue them in the evenings so as to not disrupt the lives counting on me. I find that I have to choose, do I watch TV or play some computer/internet game? Or do I use those few precious “free” hours to develop. I’m watching less and less TV as the years go by because I just can’t do both on the path to become more. I’m ok with that. I don’t want to get to the end of child raising years having wasted so much time on non-essentials. I want to enjoy the fruits of hard work.
Nailed it. I’ve been trying for about 5 years to actually follow the dream, but still pay the bills. It’s exhausting and draining, but not nearly as exhausting and draining as it was during the years when I simply punched the clock every day without being the creative that I am.
Thanks so much for coming to Murfreesboro on Saturday! And thanks for the reminder to keep identifying the lies we hear and tell ourselves. They sure are loud!
I had a blast with you guys on Saturday. It was a GREAT evening I’ll not soon forget. Thanks for reading and for commenting! Good to hear from you!
One thing that strikes me as an entrepreneur is making a plan. Sitting down with my wife in business meetings, we review our plan, look at our past goals, review our achievements, set new goals, and put a plan into action to achieve those goals. Where do we want to be in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years…. what are we doing to achieve those goals and what steps do we need to take. I think about our personal life as well and how we need to sit down and have a “family” business meeting.
Thanks for your insight Chance and getting us thinking and moving past dreaming…
So many people don’t even know HOW to conduct a meeting like that. It’s hard for some to build a strategy, or even to dream or project into the future. I’m with you in that my wife and I should do this more than we do. When we’ve made this a priority, GREAT things have come out of our effort.
Thanks for reminding me today, Mark.
I agree with every single word in this post. Thank you for reminding me not to be contented with what is considered to be a normal life (but actually it’s far from being normal). I know lots of those people that get up in the morning, go to work, spend their whole day there (mostly chatting with co-workers and surfing the net), then come back home and watch tv or do some housework before going to bed. They just fail to understnad there can be much more in their life if only they started changing something. I have a friend that lives this very kind of life and she’s always depressed. She says the Internet is the only thing worth living for because if it weren’t for the net she’d had nothing to do in the evenings. She dreams about retirement… not to have more free time to do things she enjoys but just not to have to go to work she hates. She surely needs changes but the truth is that she doens’t even realise that. Until she does, no one is able to help her, not even people that love her the most. She’s not the only one like that. There so many people around there following this path… most of the people I know, actually. Luckily I have never had this feeling like I achieved something in this life and now I can relax and stay this way for the rest of my life. Yet I’m somewhat a dreamer too. I know I can do much more than I’m doing these days to change the way I live my life. Your posts make me want to try harder, get rid of doubts and keep going. Thank you, Chance!
You said a mouth full here… She dreams about retirement… not to have more free time to do things she enjoys but just not to have to go to work she hates.
Sorry, I do that sometimes… guess I should check what I write before posting it. ;)
No – I loved it. I thought that was really insightful.
Sometimes you go through things in life where all you can do is trust God from moment to moment. God gives you just what you need for that moment – nothing more or less – so you must fully depend on Him. Today your blog was that “manna from heaven” for my moment. Thank you for being faithful in your writing and to the Lord and His calling on your life! Blessings!
Thank you so much for reading, and for your kind words.
Chance, you really have a gift. Thank you for inspiring me with your last two posts.
I’m so thankful you’re reading my posts, and it fills my heart to know it’s speaking to you.
this all very true. however, some of us wanting to step out of our comfort zone and into the zone of our dreams will do so at the risk of disrupting the life of another. that might seem selfish, reckless and irresponsible, but is it?
GREAT question!! What do we do if our stepping out will disrupt someone else’s life? Ugh… depending on the circumstances, that can be a sincere dilemma.
I have some thoughts, but I’d love to hear your answer to your own question.
Thank you Chance. Our gift is the present (pun intended). Yesterday is filled with regret, tomorrow worry, it’s what we do with now that matters.
Yesterday is filled with regret, tomorrow worry, it’s what we do with now that matters.
I really like that.
Love you, Jim. Thanks for reading and for commenting.