About a month ago, I was writing at my favorite local coffee shop here in Nashville. I hear the coffee’s great, but I don’t know; I don’t drink coffee. I go there because they have a million tasty treats to choose from – the perfect little reward for when writing goes well that day, and the perfect consolation when it doesn’t.

I’d just returned to my table with something yummy when I noticed the ladies at the table next to me. They were talking about how fast the year is passing by. It grabbed my attention because it was all so familiar…like it was my conversation, like any of us could have sat right down with them and joined in without skipping a beat.

“I can’t believe the year’s half over already. Feels like it should be March…April at the latest, right?”

“Yep. And now summer’s here and things are going to get even busier.”

“We’re gonna blink and it’ll be Christmas.”

“Life is flying by so fast, y’all.”

“It’s my kids. They have a magical power that makes time move twice as fast.”

“Really? My kids make it go twice as slow.”

They laughed and I chuckled to myself as I got settled back in and regrouped for Round 2 with my blank page. I missed the next part of their conversation, but it must have taken a more serious turn. It grabbed my attention when I heard one of them say, “It’s actually kind of depressing when I think about it…In January, I remember thinking this year would be different than before, you know? I really believed it. But somehow, here I am six months later and I still hate my job. I still have twenty pounds to lose. We still need more date nights…And you’re right, summer’s moving twice as fast. Once school starts back up, we’ll blink and 2015 will be here. It’s crazy. I seriously don’t know how to change any of it. Most days, I swear I’m just stuck.

I felt her heart and the frustration underneath her words and it took all I had not to say something to her. In this moment, I wish I had. “I’m stuck” is one of the ugliest lies swirling around in any of our heads. It’s so much more subtle than “I can’t” or “I’ll never”, but it’s just as dangerous – maybe even more so because it sounds so earnest, like we’ve tried so hard and have done everything within our power to change our situation and there are no other options. This is the way life has to be

Of course, we know the truth is that if we’re able mind and bodied, we’re never stuck. There’s always something we can do – a different choice we could make. And dozens of decisions or actions we could make at any given moment that would lead us to a breakthrough. But if we’re honest, we’d all admit we’ve spent more than a little time feeling stuck. Why is that

That’s the question that I’ve been wrestling with ever since

Why do we settle for a smaller life than the one planted in our heart?

Why don’t we do the things we know would help?

Why do we allow our lesser obligations to steal from the most important areas of our lives?

When we do set goals or make plans to change, why do we so often stall out before we succeed or fail

Some say it’s about willpower and discipline, but I believe there’s something deeper at work – something tied to our worthiness. Because if we truly believed we were worthy of the better thing, we’d pursue it differently.

We’d feel no need to apologize for wanting it, or to shy away from the possibility. 

We’d embrace the work it required, confident we’d sustain the ground we’re gaining. 

We’d set ourselves up to win all along the way,

Instead of carrying the pressure to be there today.

We’d take a step toward it now…

Rather than waiting for someday.

Life has taught me this lesson well. “Someday” isn’t coming. If I want to be happy and healthy – if I want to love the work I do – if I want great relationships with my family, my community, myself and God, I can’t wait for some magical event to make it so. It’s not gonna happen.

The life you want doesn’t happen by accident.                       

We get there little by little, or not at all. The small decision and effort we make today is our greatest catalyst for progress tomorrow – and the source of our happiness and fulfillment today.

So I’m letting go of that terrible longing that masquerades as a helper, but secretly chokes your hope. I’ve made my peace with the small step forward – finally embracing it as the friend for the road ahead that it is.

The bad news is “Someday” is never coming. But the good news is we can have the life we want today…because what we really want is to feel like we’re getting better. What we really want is progress – even if it comes one small step at a time.