Jennifer and I are doing our best to pour good thinking into our children… not just good behavior, but good thinking. We want our girls to know that they’re not just ‘enough’. They’re amazing – and truly, they are. So many of us recall our childhoods and can point to events that broke our hearts. Little lies were planted in us leading us to believe we’re broken and lacking – and for some of us, just plain bad. We could all tell stories of a school yard bully, or a bully at home who did some damage we’re still repairing today. Jennifer and I are no exceptions, and we’re fiercely committed to defending the hearts and spirits of our little girls… to let them know they are our greatest treasures, and beyond that, they matter to this world. They have a seriously important role to play.
Usually she wants me to do our nighttime rituals, but last night, Jalen wanted her Mommy. So I sat in a chair in the corner as they read Ladybug Girl together, played ‘I got your nose’ and said a prayer. As they were winding down, Jennifer looked down at Jalen and said, “Did you know that your Mommy loves you sooo much… I’m so proud of you, and you know what, baby girl? You’ve got a good heart.’’
Jalen didn’t say a word, but her eyes said more than her little vocabulary could find words to speak. She locked eyes intensely with Jen, and smiling a sweet little smile, she sat up and wrapped her arms around her Mommy’s neck, resting in the safety and the acceptance she found there. Then, without a word, she laid her head on her pillow and closed her eyes, peace and rest taking over her tired little body.
Of course kids love to hear that they’re loved, and that we’re proud of them. But I saw something different last night. I think Jalen was responding to hearing ‘You’ve got a good heart.’ It was kinda like she needed to hear the words, to know that she is ‘good’.
I left the room thinking how true that is of me too… and today I’m wondering if you might need to hear it as well.
Friend, you’ve got a good heart; do you know it? Perfect? No. Making some bad choices, choosing the long and difficult road at times? Definitely. But at the center of it all, at the center of ‘you’ is a heart that longs to do better today than you did yesterday – and to be better today than you were yesterday.
Personally, spiritually, in your work, with your family and community… Take a moment, and give yourself credit for trying. Feel the peace of knowing that, though you’re not there yet, you’re advancing everyday. And at the center of it all is a heart that beats to be better. You will get there. With a heart like that guiding you, you will get there.
In case you need to hear it today, let me remind you… You’ve got a good heart.
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That was amazing. I actually teared up at the particular section. That was truly and wonderfully amazing. ^_^ Thank you!
If you aren’t, have you ever thought to be a minister? I can relate to much of your other comments. I was adopted and what would be abused today. Then after college, actually shunned because the RN I was living with had a 9yr old girl. They didn’t believe it was right. One thing led to another hot words of anger that shouldn’t have been said were exchanged by all of us. Dad committed suicide my mom is 91 yrs old and although she and my sister (7yrs younger, also adopted) claim to be “Born Again” ; sis hasn’t forgiven me so I can’t visit my mother My wife and daughter (I wasn’t her father but I was her Dad) were my life and after my wife died I finally saw that she’d really grown into a mom herself with”A BIG HEART”. They may not show it or tell you until later in life but keep up your good work and you and Jen will do wonderfully no matter what the world throws at us. Wow can’t believe I spill out like that thank’s brother God Bless you and your family.
Thank you for your faithfulness in writing. I don’t always get the chance to respond BUT you never know who the ‘silent’ readers are. I couldn’t contain the tears while reading this… Thank you for the encouragement.
Thank you for breaking your silence, April. You’ve put gas in my tank. It’s moments like these that keep me going. Thank you for YOUR encouragement.
We’ve really been intentional as well with Anamieke to try to make sure she hears how loved she is throughout every day… and I’ve experienced the responses like you described… where she just smiles big and plunges into my arms, squeezing as hard as she can. It just shows me that she gets it… it’s worth it. Can’t wait for our girls to get to play together!
I’m waiting for the day as well… Just hope I’m not 80 when it happens.
Those simple words, especially when they’re said by a special someone, can light up a person’s life. Apart from helping someone feel important, this words also work the other way. I’ve read this post yesterday and I didn’t comment rigt away because I wanted to spend a day looking at others through new eyes first. Everytime someone said or done something rude I kept telling to myself ‘This person has a good heart’ and it helped me not to concentrate on negative things. That’s so true – everyone needs to hear those words. So here it goes – you’ve got a good heart, Chance!
Wow, Anna-Emily. That’s just an amazing application of this idea – maybe beyond what I could do personally, if I’m honest. GOOD FOR YOU! Thank you for this insight – I’m gonna try to do the same.
Thanks once again for always engaging here. I appreciate it, and I’m learning from you.