Last weekend, I attended the Graduation Ceremony of a family friend. And as I looked into the faces of the graduates, I couldn’t help but see my younger self in them – excited and eager, blissfully unaware of days to come.
There is plenty of advice out there for new graduates, but so much of it falls short of practical, real world help. Here are 10 things I wish someone had said to me. Following even one of them can vastly improve someone’s life forever.
You should get out of here!
The world is bigger than you think. No, for real…It’s much bigger. You’ve seen pictures. You know some history and facts. But there’s something that can’t be learned any other way than by traveling to a city you don’t know, an ocean away from home, communicating in a language you don’t speak, tasting food you’ve never seen, debating issues with people who are utterly convinced you’re wrong. Go see the world, at least a sliver of it. And don’t put it off until later. Later is more elusive than you think.
Forget about being well-rounded.
Your education has demanded you to focus on many areas at once. You’ve been trained and conditioned to be as well-rounded as possible. But society doesn’t actually honor well-rounded people. We applaud and promote experts. We give them medals and write books about them.
Every moment you spend focusing on your weaknesses is a moment you’re not investing to improve the strengths that are tied to your purpose. Play to your strengths – avoid your weaknesses. Go be an expert.
Make ‘em love you.
Hard work and ability will only take you so far. People skills trump talent almost every time. There are lots of jobless experts – and plenty of successful people with little talent. Likability is key.
In business and beyond, we promote people we enjoy being around more than those who are simply capable. Live your life in such a way that when you walk into a room, people are genuinely glad to see you…but be authentic. Schmoozers are losers.
Pay yourself first…Now!
No matter how much or little money you make, starting today, set aside 10% to invest or save long term. Most of us ignore disciplined saving until it’s too late. Don’t be like the masses. Start now and do it automatically, each time you make a bank deposit. Even small amounts can grow into fortunes when compound interest is applied. With time on your side, this is one of the best things you can do for your future.
Run with those who get it.
Despite your awesomeness, some people aren’t going to get you. A boss, a colleague, a date, an acquaintance…Someone out there is not a fan. When we’re younger, we tend to focus on these people. Why don’t they like us? Why can’t we win them over?!
Life experience will eventually cure you of caring so much about what other people think, especially haters. Get there sooner than later. Bottom line – they’re just not your people. Don’t take it personally and don’t waste time trying to win them over. Move on. Find your people. Find your team. You’ll be amazed what happens when you surround yourself with people who are in your corner.
It’s okay to change your mind.
Look at all the unhappy people around you complaining about their lives. Wanna know something they all have in common? 100% of them are afraid to choose a different road than the one they previously chose. Yes, there may be some legitimate obstacles, but is the facade of security worth a sick heart?
This is your life. When you find yourself on the wrong road, change your mind. Change your direction. Do it boldly and with confidence, knowing that you will find your way. Even if the transition is tough, a new and better choice will always lead to a new and better life.
Be the squeaky wheel.
Do you know the phrase, “You have not because you ask not”? It’s true for many reasons and in many ways. When we’re younger, we hang back, hoping good work and strong character will speak on our behalf. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always. The squeaky wheel does get the oil – and people who are bold enough to speak up usually get what they want, even if someone else deserves it more. This is why you see questionable guys dating incredible women – bad actors making films – and jerks getting ahead while you’re waiting to be noticed.
Spend some time getting clear about what you hope, need and plan for your life. If you can’t define it, it will be defined for you and chances are good you won’t like what you get. Once you know what you want, speak up. Ask for what you want. It holds you accountable to go for it, and you’re likely to get some help.
Find a new teacher.
Each of us can point to a person in our childhood who encouraged our talent and our heart at a pivotal moment. They shaped our ability, taught us to dream beyond our boundaries and without their investment in us, we wouldn’t be who we are today.
Thing is, that need never goes away. We all long for someone to be out in front of us, clearing a path and shining a light on the road up ahead. It’s not as easy to find that person outside of school, but it’s most definitely worth the search.
Find someone who’s doing what you aspire to do and shadow them. Find a way to serve them. Ask smart questions. Listen more than you speak. A mentor is one of the most valuable treasures we forget to search for.
Serve your way to happiness.
You’ll never earn your way to happy. You’ll never purchase fulfillment. Notoriety, on its own, won’t fill the void inside you. The pursuit of stuff and position will eventually leave you empty. Finding ways to use your abilities to serve others is the key to fulfillment.
If you want to be great, find someone who needs you and help them…no charge and no strings attached. You’ll never feel better about yourself than when you’re helping someone who can’t return the favor.
It’s all for something – even the waiting.
Life can be tough after graduation. It’s easy to feel like you’re stuck in between who you once were and who you want to be. You could drive yourself crazy wondering why everyone else is moving forward in the things that matter most while you’re standing still. What you learn in time is that it all makes sense…someday. Today is perfectly setting you up for someday. Stay eager and expectant, but patient and content. It’s all for something – even the waiting.
Know any recent or soon to be high school or college graduates? What’s your advice for them, knowing what you know now?
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Hello.
I enjoyed this article very much. It’s very inspirational.
Chance, once again you have provided that extra spring in my step that was missing. I graduated college almost 10 years ago and when reality hit I found myself reeling. I too wish someone had told me these truths. But it’s never too late – obviously, because I found them particularly useful even today. Thanks for writing this. As always, I’m sharing:)
Never too late…
Thanks so much for such kind words – and for sharing. :)
My first time reading you, other than your comments on Robert D.’s. MOST CERTAINLY NOT MY LAST!! Exceptional insights and encouragement for ALL ages, Chance, including my 57 years.
By God’s grace alone I have lived that, but have often had a sense of simply having “fallen into such exceptional good fortune” as some might say….
I’ve often wondered if I would have heard and clung to every word of such a valuable piece as this had I read it at age 15 or 18. Was there ‘enough light’ to see such precious treasure?
I’ll never know, but am so grateful to see this in print NOW, for those who have eyes to see and ears to hear!!
Absolutely life changing and AWESOME, CHANCE! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!!
I love this comment and will hold it in my heart. Glad to be connected on Facebook! Really looking forward to getting to know you.
Thank you for this! This was a gift to read this evening. Although graduation is far in my past I found myself eagerly nodding along to each nugget of worthy advice.
Thank, Ryan. :) Writing the post was a great reminder for me too! Funny what we can teach ourselves when we ask what we’d tell someone else. ;)
This post is something every graduate should read! And not only graduates but older people desperately need to hear this advice… especially where I leave because people are so afraid to lose what they have that they themselves block all the possibilities to move on with thier lives. You can’t imagine how much pressure I’m undergoing now because of my decision to make a career change. It’s very understandable though… if they don’t believe in themselves they won’t believe in others. As for an a dvice for a graduate, I would tell them not to let anyone decide for them what to do with their future life. If they start their grown up life living someone else’s dreams when are they going to live their own ones? It’s a common thing here for parents to decided what university their children will go to and what course they’ll take. Hope this year graduates are bold enough to listen to their inner voice while making such an important decision.
Yes…I do too, Anna Emily. Yours is great advice we should all follow.
Chance,
You won me over with this article. Talk about inspiration; not only did you inspire me you confirmed my outlook. When things get rough this will be my reminder……Thank you and keep ’em coming.
Thanks, Tanisha! I’m so glad it resonated in you! :) Thanks for taking time to read AND comment…I’ll keep em coming if you’ll keep reading.
Thanks so much for these insightful words, my friend! Not only are they wise, but I just love reading and digesting things that “go against the flow or the ‘norm’.” It reminds me of that illustration that shows an entire school of fish swimming in one direction and this one fish going in the opposite direction (I think in the shape of the Christian “ichthus” sign). It also reminded me of how scary and challenging it is to do something that, in your heart, you know is right for you, and how others will push back as if to try and deter (or even destroy) you. This blog was a bright spot in my day, Chance. I’m printing it out now and giving it to my daughter, Jeri Lynn, who is graduating from Massage Therapy school in June!
You and I are not very good at going with the flow, are we?
LOVE THIS! This is so hard – but it’s also such an important part of life – at EVERY stage. My heart leapt when I read your words here. “It also reminded me of how scary and challenging it is to do something that, in your heart, you know is right for you, and how others will push back as if to try and deter (or even destroy) you.”
Wow this is great for anyone at any age. Thank you Chance!
DANA! :) Thanks, my friend.
Good stuff! This even applies to us as we get older too.
Thanks, Rory. I agree. Writing it was a great reminder to me.
Love this post Chance. Very well stated. If anyone follows these steps whether a graduate or someone who is further down the road in life, success will definitely follow. God bless you for these weekly posts. I thoroughly enjoy them!!
Thank you, Pete! And thanks for your last 2 sentences…It puts gas in my tank when to hear that these posts are connecting. Thanks for taking the time to let me know.
Chance-
You have grabbed a great moment of time to speak truth and life into the people who are lucky enough to read this- I know from my own experiences of graduating and those of my kids, that this is a time that lots of questions are being asked (if not aloud-
then internally), and really very few answers are offered- thanks for being a light!
LOVE you bunches and really so grateful for you!
Debbie B.
PS- my advice- just because your parents SEEM out of touch doesn’t mean they are- remember- they have lived long enough to make a LOT of mistakes- so some of the stuff they tell you is something the paid a high price to learn- you can learn it that way too, or maybe trust them, and skip the pain.
I sure do wish someone had handed me this on Graduation Day…I hope this post finds as many graduates as it possibly can. Would love to know that some of our rambling around could save them some heartache and wasted time.
LOVE LOVE LOVE your advice at the end. It’s so very true. I’ve been thinking on this ever since I first read it.
Outstanding post! I don’t currently know any grads, however I’m in a life transition myself and these truths apply! Thank you!
Thanks, Shari. Yeah, graduation is long behind me, but there’s stuff here I need to be reminded of every day. Thanks for reading! :)
Just 3 years ago my oldest son left for college. The morning we moved his things to school I got up early and wrote him a letter about how to be a friend, the importance of seeing the world, to serve in his community, that the best place for guidance was in the good book and how never settling, but finding yourself was the greatest path to happiness. Chance this post helps all of us remember this and more. I will share this with all of the graduates I know this year (and their parents)!
WHAT A GIFT you gave. I imagine it will be an absolute treasure long past your lifetime. Can you imagine your grandchildren or theirs reading that letter you wrote. AWESOME that you took the time!
WOW Chance….you continue to blow me away with your insight and ability to put it all together. Things we know (we older folks), but forget…..and just make us really want to step out there in the world!! This is a message to everyone…graduates, young adults, mid-lifers, and older folks! Thank you Chance! <3 Keep on keeping on! <3
Sweet Dee…thank you. You’re a fountain to me.
Bravo, Chance! Love this post!
Thanks so much, my friend. Miss you.